LOD: The Book of Rambles
by Rap's
Summary: NEW RAMBLES!!!! Each chapter is a story-ramble and each story-ramble is a threat to your sanity. This is my book of LOD rants- fanfiction craziness like no other! Yes- be afriad!!
1. Lod meets... THE GIANT TURKEYS OF RUTHA!...

  
LOD: The Book of Rambles  
Insanity at it's best: Ramble 1 -- THE GIANT TRUKEYS OF RUTHA!

  
(((This was a thanksgiving day ramble i made for the forum i'm a part of to wish everyone happy holidays!! marvel at my insanity!! This one includes all the characters! And please dismiss my typos. i wasnt paying attention and i don't care!!)))--------  
  
  
THE GIANT TURKEYS OF RUTHA (written the holiday of 2000)  
-------  
(Basically, I, Rap's, am sending all the characters from LOD to my home planet to catch me a giant 3-story turkey for thanksgiving. I begin by snapping them all into existence and then sending them off) 

::In a sudden spurt of magic that comes streaking from her claws, all the characters from LOD are now standing dumbfounded on the message board::  
  
Lloyd: Whoa.. WHOA- HOLD THE PHONE!!!  
  
Rose: Oh god.... Rap's have MERCY!!! It's the HOLIDAYS!!!  
  
Albert: Well- we're doomed...  
  
Haschel: WHOO!! Sounds fun!  
  
Meru: YEAHH!!! heheh!!!  
  
Kongol: SMASH!!!!  
  
Lavits: dude!  
  
Dart: bu.. but...  
  
Shana: *cries*  
  
Doel: I'll get a shotgun....  
  
Emily: ... Why does Rap's always include me and Doel in these roleplay things?  
  
Rap's: Because I like you Emily! your Spunky! Doel is just hot.  
  
Emily: great....  
  
Doel: Should I be flattered or horrified?  
  
Albert: How about we order pre-sized bodybags?  
  
Rose: *sigh* I'll get a shotgun too...  
  
Rap's: Now now- no further arguments! Get me the Fattest 3-story Giant turkey you can find!  
  
Dart: Did... she just say...  
  
Haschel: 3-STORY HIGH!?  
  
Lloyd and Lavits: Whooaaa!!!! DUDE!!!  
  
Kongol: KONGOL SMASH GIANT TURKEY!!!  
  
Rap's: Off you go! *raises her claws and summons another burst of magic* And Have fun all! Be careful! Rutha is unpredictable this time of year!  
  
((Let the madness begin.... MWAHAHAHAHHAH!!))  
-------------------  
**************  
  
Over the mountainous regions of Rutha- a field appears over the horizon. Just above this beautiful area of grassland a flash of energy bursts into life. With a crackle, a snap and a pop, Raptor's magic desposits the disoriented LOD characters on the ground. From five feet up, I should add.::  
  
Meru: OOOOOooooooowwwwwww *blink* LETS DO IT AGAIN!!!!  
  
Albert: UGH! NO! most certainly NOT! *rubs the back of his head* Rap's couldn't have *placed* us on the ground, could she?  
  
Rose: Whatever. Lets just find the damned turkey Rap's wants and get out of here. *cocks her shotgun* We've all been through enough with her to know these things won't end unless we just go with the flow.  
  
Doel: I'm with that! *cocks his shotgun too.*  
  
::Rose and Doel start off::  
  
Haschel: HELLO!!!! Wait for us!  
  
Rose: *blink* Sorry. it's just that I and Doel are the Oldest here.  
  
LLoyd: EXCUSE ME!? *runs up to them and takes out the Dragon Buster* NOW lets go!  
  
Meru: HEYY!!! NOT WITHOUT ME YOUR NOT!!!!  
  
Albert: HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT!!!!! *waves his arms* Lets split up into two groups. We can cover more ground that way in any case. Rose, Uncle, Meru, Lloyd and...  
  
::Lavits starts to jump up and down::  
  
Lavits: ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!  
  
Albert: uh... Lavits... *Watches Lavits run up and high five Lloyd. The two begin to smack each other over the head.* will make up team one. Team two will consist of Myself, Emily, Kongol, Haschel, Dart and Shana. Is that everyone?  
  
Dart: HEY!!! Who died and made you the king of Turkey Hunting?! I'm the leader!  
  
Albert: One- I AM a king. Two- I'm Raptor's favorite character. Three- i'm smarter then you. Now shut up  
.  
Dart: *pout*  
  
Shana: HEY!  
  
Albert: Shut. up.  
  
Shana: *lip quiver*  
  
::everyone shakes their heads in agreement.::  
  
Rose: Okay then, let's move out!  
  
Meru: YEAH baby!!!!  
  
::The two teams begin their search as the sun begins to fade, completely unaware that-at this very moment- slanted, EVIL eyes are watching their every move. These beings start to laugh amongst themselves, delighted with a sinister plan that were brewing in the eyes of their leader.::  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Time passes....  
-------  
  
Doel: *Having traveled nearly an hour, he lifts up a hand and signals the group to stop.* okay guys- hold up a second. We've been searching for awhile now and Still no Luck!  
  
Rose: Seriously... *sighs and spins her shotgun*  
  
Meru: Well- if I was a giant Turkey- Where would I hide!?  
  
Lloyd: Dude... THATS IT!!! *looks at Lavits*  
  
Lavits: *looks at Lloyd* YEAH!!! Right on!!!  
  
All: ....  
  
Lavits: We must *think* like the giant 3-story Turkey!  
  
Lloyd: Yes.. we must *become* the giant 3-story Turkey!  
  
Lloyd and Lavits: HAHA!! WE ROCK!!! *chest thump*  
  
Meru: Does anyone other then me find that *slightly* disturbing?  
  
::Rose, Doel and Meru back away from Lloyd and Lavits::  
  
Doel: Bah! Whatever! I'll call up the others and see if they've had any better luck... *Doel takes out a small Walkie-Talkie from his pocket.*  
  
Rose: WHA? Where'd you get THAT!?  
  
Meru: COOOOOLLLL!!!!!!!  
  
Doel: I dunno. I had it on me when we were dropped off- so I guess Rap's is responsible. Where there's one, there has to be two, right!? *holds the button on the com and speaks into it*   
  
Lloyd and Lavits: DUDE!!!!  
  
Doel: Pansy Ass!? Calling Pansy Ass Nephew, do you copy? I repeat, Calling pansy ass nephew- Do you read me!?  
  
::Static crackles over the line, and then Dart picks up::  
  
Dart: hey.. whoa.. COOL!!! is this Doel?  
  
Doel: Yes. Get me the Pansy.  
  
Dart: I'm here!  
  
Doel: i.. ugh.. My NEPHEW, Dart!  
  
Dart: *static* uh.... Whats a nephew?  
  
Doel: Ugh NO! you STUPID-!!!!  
  
::Rose stops Doel from throwing the Walkie Talkie to the ground and picks it from his hands.::  
  
Rose: Dart? This is Rose.  
  
Dart: hey Rose, Sup!  
  
Rose: *eye roll* Get Albert for me, okay?  
  
Dart: oh, Okay!   
  
Lavits and Lloyd: hehee- LOS~ER!!!!  
  
Meru: SHHHH!! Dart might hear!!!  
  
Lavits and Lloyd: *louder* LOS~ER!!!  
  
Meru: *giggles*  
  
::Shuffling is heard over the com::  
  
Albert: This is Albert. is that you, Rose?  
  
Rose: Yes. had any luck as of yet?  
  
Albert: None whatsoever- but we have been hearing strange sounds in the distance. Other then that.. I... AGH!!! *static* ((Dart! NO- No one called you a loser!!! Stop. Dart- I SAID-!!!))   
  
::Rose blinks as a smack and a thud echo off over the com::  
  
Albert: *cough* Sorry. Now- other then that we've come across nothing to make us believe that these -giant turkeys- Rap's is after are in the area.  
  
Rose: hmmm- well, Should we meet up?  
  
Albert: Alright. What is your position?  
  
Rose: About five miles east of where we started off.  
  
Albert: good. Just head west from there. You'll come across a river. Once at this point travel north until you come to a fork- and my group will be waiting.  
  
Rose: No prob. How do you know so much about the area?  
  
Albert: Considering the amount of times Rap's has abducted me from my castle in bale? Don't even ask.  
  
Rose: heh... alright then.   
  
Albert: *static* I'll see you there. Albert out..  
  
::Rose clicks off the Walkie Talkie and sighs::  
  
Rose: Okay all- We're going to meet up with the rest of the group. I figure we'll start search again tomorrow morning. *she hands the com back to Doel* lets get moving- We want to make it there in fair time.  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Meru: uh... Did anyone hear that!?  
  
Lloyd: huh? hear what?  
  
All: *listen*  
  
Doel: *yawn* it's nothing. lets continue  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Lavits: Dude.... I heard THAT!!!!  
  
Rose: huh!?  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!! MWA AHAHAHHHA!!!!  
  
Doel: What the-!?  
  
Meru: SEE!!! I told you! What is it?  
  
Lloyd: Oh man- it's coming from that real ominous patch of darkness up ahead! *points*  
::Everyone looks towards a very ominous patch of Darkness, squinting into the thick black.::  
  
Lavits: uhhh... okay. Someone go check it out...  
  
Doel: Well don't look at me!  
  
Meru: ooooo... I dunno about this!  
  
Rose: Bah! Lloyd- you pointed it out- YOU go look!  
  
Lloyd: ME!? NO WAY!  
  
Meru: Come ON Lloyd! Not even for some Scooby Snacks!?  
  
Lavits: Dude... isn't that a dog on a cartoon show?  
  
Lloyd: hey- sure! I'll... WAIT a second!!!  
  
Doel: OH WHATEVER! Lets all go in at the same time! Ready!?  
  
::The group slinks into the darkness::  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Meru: No-!  
  
Rose: *gasp*  
  
Lloyd: AGHHH!!!  
  
Doel: HOLY-!  
  
Lavits: AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.............  
  
::Silence reigns over the grassland::  
  
-----------  
::Meanwhile- Back with Albert and the others, the party now sits at the divide of a large, rolling river with the moon high above. Shana is kicking her feet back and forth- sitting on a large rock by the waves. Kongol and Haschel are skipping stones into a small pool nearby.::  
  
Shana: *swing, swing, swing*  
  
Kongol: KONGOL THROW FARTHER!  
  
Haschel: HELL NO! I did!  
  
Dart: Will you two HUSH UP!!??  
  
Albert: *sighs and smacks the Walkie Talkie in his palm*  
  
:;Emily walks up to Albert, looking at the com::  
  
Emily: problem?  
  
Albert: Rose and the others are way overdue... I can't seem to contact them on this device either.  
  
Emily: here- lemme see... maybe you just need to shake it around a little...  
  
::Albert hands her the com::  
  
Emily: now... hmmm... *shakes it* Rose? Doel? *shakes it again and holds the button* HELLO!?!?!? *throws it on the ground and stomps on it* HELLOOO!!!!!!?????  
  
Albert: Ermm.. Emily...  
  
Emily: *shaking it again* ANYONE!? Meru? Lavits? Llyod? *Slams it against a tree trunk*  
  
Albert: *wince* Emily!  
  
Emily: Wait! I think I got it! *grabs a convenient baseball bat and slams it into the river*  
  
Albert: EMILY!!!! *runs to the bank and looks in* now look what you've done!!!  
  
Emily: *walks up to him* Well, it made a -plunk- sound when it hit the water, right!? That's a start, ain't it?  
  
Albert: ugh...... here- maybe we can get it out. Dart? Kongol? Haschel? Shana? Some Help please?  
Dart looks up from where he is sitting::  
  
Dart: ooohhhh- so NOW the brainiac wants help! *rubs at his blackeye* hell with you!  
  
Albert: Don't be childish. It's not MY fault you insisted on grappling with me for the com! Shana?  
  
Shana: NOOOO!!! I'll get my hands wet! *swing, swing, swing*  
  
Albert: ..... haschel? Kongol?  
  
Kongol: KONGOL THROW FARTHER!!!  
  
Haschel: NO KONGOL DID NOT!!!!!  
  
Albert: *sigh* oh well.. I suppose I'll just have to... HEYYYY!!!  
::A chipmunk has dove into the water, grabbed the Walkie Talkie, and begins to run off with it::  
  
Emily: um- Can chipmunks do that?  
  
Albert: ugh- you little bastard! Come BACk here! *chases the chipmunk*  
  
Dart: Go Chipmunk!  
  
:: Albert flings a pile of mud into Dart's bruised eye::  
  
Dart: AGH!!! SH*T!!!! you damned-!!!! *gets* up and starts chasing after Albert, Who is chasing the chipmunk.*  
  
Emily: oh dear!  
  
Shana: Da~art! Stop it! Come back here and worship me! *whimper*  
  
Kongol: KONGOL... SEES CHIPMUNK!  
  
haschel: I... wha!?  
  
::Kongol losses interest in the game of skipping rocks with Haschel and Chases Dart, Who is chasing Albert- who is after the chipmunk::  
  
Albert: *leap* AH -HA!!!! *catches the chipmunk* So there, you! Now give me that back!  
  
Chipmunk: *nose wiggle* -the com drops into the water and is swept away*  
  
Albert: WHY YOU-!!!  
  
Dart: *skids to a stop* awww- look! it gave a nose wiggle!!!  
  
Kongol: AWW!!!! NOSE WIGGLE!!! ME LOVE!!!!  
  
All: awwwwwwww!!!!!  
  
Emily: isn't it cute!? Now dont you DARE hurt it, Albert!  
  
Shana: *jumps over and takes the chipmunk from Albert* YEAH! big meany! *tickles the chipmunk's nose* your just so cute! aren't you-boo boo? little wiggy chip-munky cutesy-poo!? hehehe!!  
  
Chipmunk: RRAAGAGAGAAGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to eat Shana*  
  
Haschel: WTF!??!?!  
  
Emily: OMG!!!!!  
  
Kongol: *runs away screaming*  
  
Dart: CRAP!!! SHANA!!! *grabs the killer chipmunk from Shana- who is screaming, and hurls it into a tree. The chipmunk bounces back and dives for his throat*  
  
Albert: oh this is just typical.... *grabs Emily's baseball bat and twacks it into another tree*  
  
Chipmunk: hhwwwhhhHAHAHAHHAAAGGHHHHHH!!!! *bares teeth and lunges at Albert*  
  
Albert: GAKKK!!! *Chipmunk lands in his hair, gets stuck, and continues to try and claw at his face*  
  
Chipmunk: RGGAAHHHHH!!!!  
Albert: AAHHHHHHH!!!  
Chipmunk: RRAAGAGGGHHHHH!!!  
Albert:AAAHHHHHHHH!!!  
Chipmunk: RAAGGHHHHHH!!!  
Albert: AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Emily: BITCH-ASS CHIPMUNK!!! *tears the chipmunk away and eats it*  
  
::very loud crunch::  
  
Dart: She did not just.....  
  
Haschel: She did....  
  
Shana: eeewww!!!!  
  
Albert: *light cough* Emily- I had everything under... *eye twitch* perfect control. You know your sister told you to stop eating small animals. It's bad for both your health and your figure.  
  
Emily: *dainty burp* I'm sorry, dear.... but it was attacking you and you KNOW how i get when stuff trys to claw apart your face! *pout*  
  
Albert: it's okay...   
  
::They smile and hug.::  
  
Dart: ooookkkaaayyyy..... ::backs up:: uh- look... The Walkie Talkie is screwed, Shana's been nearly disemboweled by a rabid forest creature, and the others are still missing. Maybe we should go look for them?  
  
All: ......  
  
Albert: I know! Lets all go look for them!  
  
Haschel, Emily and Kongol: Yeah!!!  
  
Dart: HEYYYYYY!!!!!   
  
::Everyone has already begun out into the field, searching. Dart hurries to catch up, when a sudden darkness falls over the group::  
  
Emily: Agh!! i can't see!!!  
  
Shana: AHHHH!!! help me!! i'm lost!!!  
  
Kongol: WAHHHHAA!!!! KONGOL SCARED OF DARKK!!!!!!  
  
Haschel: HEY- Who the **** just grabbed my ass!!!???  
  
Albert: oh shut up! Quite shoving! Dart- is that you!?  
  
Dart: MY LEG!! MY LEG!! SOMETHING HAS MY LEG!!!  
  
Emily: oh.. sorry.... I thought you were Albert!  
  
Albert: Heh. ^_^  
  
Shana: *crying*  
  
Haschel: I STILL wanna know who touched my ass!!!!! Kongol- I swear to god, if that was you.....  
  
Kongol: *scream*  
  
::a silence sweeps the blind group::  
  
Albert: Did you hear that? Kongol just.... ahhh... AGAHHH!!!! *scream*  
  
::Another silence::  
  
Emily: ALBERT!? .... Kongol? Where did they.. *Scream*  
  
Dart: Emily!? NO! I- *scream*  
  
Haschel: okay- What the... *scream*  
  
Shana: *screaming anyway*  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
--------------------------  
  
::hours later, in the dark of an underground cave, the forms of all 11 travelers are slowly waking up inside a vast chamber. Large torches adorn the ceiling- and below them each person is tied to an individual stake along the circular walls.  
  
Rose: ugh.... *blinks and starts to focus her vision* Wh... where are we? *She looks over and see's albert's group* guys!!! your here too?  
  
Haschel: *yawns and opens his eyes* Here? huh? *looks around* Where the hell are we!?!?!  
  
Rose: I was hoping maybe you knew!  
  
Doel: Ugh- well- THIS SUCKS!!! *has just woken up*  
  
Albert: rrr... *cough and blink* huh? wha? what sucks?  
  
:;Albert and Doel, who are tied side by side, look to one another.::  
  
Albert: Your right. This does suck.  
  
Doel: Shut up, brat!  
  
Albert: Well Excu~USE me!!!!  
  
::Little by little, everyone begins to awaken. The large gathering flings questions at one another- but no one can come up with an explanation other then each group had walked into a patch of darkness- and was attacked by someone... or something.::  
  
Haschel: I don't know what it was- but it touched my ass! Someone is gonna get WHOOPED for that!  
  
Meru: Well whatever! We have to find a way out of here!! *struggles against her bonds*  
  
Emily: yeah! Meru's right! We must escape!  
  
Shana: *crying her eyes out*  
  
Dart: oh right! Like how!?  
  
Kongol: THIS PISS KONGOL OFF!!!  
  
Lloyd: me too big guy! This totally suckith!  
  
Lavits: yeah! This Suckith big time!  
  
Shana: *sobs*  
  
All: SHUT UP!!!!  
  
Shana: *sniff*  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
::Everyone freezes::  
  
Meru: Thats it! Thats the voice!!! *sticks a foot towards the entrance to the chamber* It's coming from that hallway- and I think it's getting closer!  
  
Doel: Damnit- and none of us have our weapons!!  
  
Albert: your oh so bright, aren't you uncle? not that the damned things would have done us any good in the first place! We ARE tied UP you know!!!!!!  
  
Doel: *growls* if I wasn't chained to a stake i would beat the snot out of you!  
  
Albert: Now that's just child abuse!  
  
Doel: IT IS NOT!!!  
  
Albert: IS TOO!!! I'm younger- and we're related!!!!  
  
Doel:: RRRRAAAAAGGHHHHHH!!!! DONT REMIND ME!!!!  
  
Rose: WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP!??!!  
  
::everyone looks at Rose::  
  
Rose: Thank you.  
  
Lloyd: look! Someone's coming!!  
  
Lavits: DUDE!!!!  
  
::All eyes turn on the entrance as huge shadowy forms appear within. The sounds of laughter have grown very strong- booming over the room::  
  
Evil mysterious voices: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Rose: no....  
  
Doel: it couldn't be...  
  
Emily: OMG!!!!  
  
Dart: No way....  
  
Kongol: BIG BIRD?  
  
Shana *still crying*  
  
Haschel: A GIANT TURKEY TOUCHED MY ASS!!???!  
  
::Four giant 3-story turkeys come looming from the hallway. they fluff their feathers and gobble amongst themselves, casting evil glares at everyone within the room. One of them, the tallest, steps fowards.::  
  
Turkey #1: I did NOT *gobble* Touch your ass on purpose! that was SUCH *gobble* a mistake! You moved!  
  
Haschel: oh SURE. Even Turkeys can't get enough of me!  
  
Emily: Shut up, Haschel...  
  
Haschel: i know....  
  
::The turkeys go back to whispering::  
  
Albert: WELL? Don't just stand there and gobble! What have we been brought here for!?  
  
Meru: YEAH!! What gives you fluff-for-brains!?  
  
Rose: Smart. Piss them off, why don't you?  
  
Turkey #2: *steps fowards* AH HA!!!! *gobble* that is not the question! The question should really be.. what were YOU brought here for?  
  
Turkey #3: Yes indeed... Answer us that without a lie, humans! Answer us that! For we KNOW why you have come!!! You wish to slay one of us, is this not true?  
  
Shana: *speaks up* Uh huh....  
  
:;everyone glares at Shana.::  
  
Lavits: But DUDE!! it's not our fault! There is this psycho raptor queen that says we have to bring her back a turkey for Thanksgiving!  
  
::The turkeys gasp and cover their heads with feathers::  
  
Turkey #1: HOLD THY TONGUE DEMON!!! YOU SPEAK OF THE ACCURSED HOLIDAY!!! *the other two giant Turkeys cower back as the first walks up and smacks him in the head*  
  
Lavits: *coughs* Dude... i just got bitch-slapped by a turkey! that totally sucks!!  
  
Lloyd: Say *suckith* dude... it sounds cooler.....  
  
Dart: Lay off, huh!? You think we WANT to!? if we don't, we can never go home! Rap's is a stubborn freak!!!  
  
Albert: It's true! This is her planet, isn't it? you must have heard of her!?  
  
Turkey #2: hey... *gobble* Ain't you that king Rap's is always abducting from Bale?  
  
Albert: ummmm... maybe?  
  
Turkey #3: HE IS! HE IS!!!! *waddles up to Albert* You are the EVIL QUEEN'S Favorite character from LOD!!! You shall be fed to the oven's first!  
  
The three Turkeys: Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluck! Mwa-cluckHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Doel: Giant... oven? Oh- this is just wonderful. I swear to god I'm gonna haunt that raptor queen!!!  
  
Rose: Well- count me in with that!  
  
Albert: *sigh* At least I'll never get kidnapped again...  
  
Meru: This really DOES Suckith!!!  
  
Turkey #1: For YOU!!! HHEHEHHEH!!! *gobble* HEHEHEH!!!! As leader of the Giant 3-story Turkeys of Rutha- It shall be a great honor to serve you at our OWN thanxgiving feast! Number 3!   
Number 2! Baste them!  
  
Emily: oh GROSSS!!!!  
  
haschel: I'm to young to fry!!!  
  
::Everyone looks at him::  
  
Haschel: in my MIND people!  
  
Lloyd: THIS SUCKITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lavits: THIS SERIOUSLY SUCKITH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
?????: UNHAND MY CHARACTERS YOU GIANT EVIL TURKEYS!!!!!!  
  
Rose: No...  
  
Doel: that can't be...  
  
Albert: *cringe* Please say it's another turkey... PLEASE say it's another turkey!!  
  
????: MW AHAHHAHhAAHHAHHH!!!!!  
  
3 Giant Turkeys: *gobble in panic*  
  
:;Rap's appears in the room in a swirl of magic and dust. Eyes glowing red with fury, she stalks towards the turkeys- tail swishing back and forth::  
  
Turkey #2: QUEEN RAP'S!!!!!!!  
  
Turkey #3: THE ALMIGHTY RAP's!!!!!  
  
Rap's: you think you could ACTUALLY get away with this!? How dumb do you believe I am?   
  
Turkey #1: Well...  
  
Rap's: BESIDES THE OBVIOUS!!!!!  
  
three Giant Turkeys: ......  
  
Rap's: I AM THE RAPTOR QUEEN OF RUTHA AND I WILL HAVE A GIANT TURKEY ROAST IF I WANT TO!!!!! Stupid turkeys!!!  
  
Dart: hey Rap's- that IS kinda mean.. they're only trying to live!  
  
Meru: *blinks* Hey.... thats true!  
  
Shana: You an awful awful raptor Rap's!!  
  
::Rap's rolls her eyes::  
  
Rap's: WILL YOU GIVE ME BREAK!? These Turkeys are involved in drug smuggling to baby Chipmunks and assorted politicians!  
  
All: YOU MONSTERS!!!!  
  
::The turkeys back away in shame::  
  
Rap's: Now- Get into my space cruiser outside or I SWEAR to GOD I will let the feathers fry RIGHT HERE Gravy pants! SHOOOO!!! out with you!!! *she pushes the Turkeys outside and then returns with some wire-cutters*  
  
Emily: Did Rap's.... Actually save us!?  
  
Rose: I'm beyond speechless...  
  
Doel: i don't trust her and those clippers...  
  
Lavits and Lloyd: COOOLL!!!!!!!!  
  
::Rap's begins to snip everyone free- stopping at Albert::  
  
Albert: ((please don't hug me please dont hug me please dont hug me.....))  
  
Rap's: *giggles* i kinda like you this way....  
  
Lloyd: oooooo!!!!!  
  
Albert: SHUT Up!!!!  
  
Doel: BWA HAHAHAH!!!  
  
Albert: Stop it!  
  
Rose: Come on, Rap's... let him go!  
  
Rap's: *sigh* okay!  
  
::Rap's kneels down, hoists the stake Albert is attached to from the ground, and slings it over one shoulder::  
  
Albert: AHHHHHH!!!! PUT ME DOWN!!!! *kick*  
  
Rap's: heheheh!!! After we get back to my quarters!  
  
Albert: *sweatdrop* Oh god.....  
  
Rap's: Come on, all! Lets go home! I made pumpkin pie!!!  
  
Lloyd: YES!!!!  
  
MEru and Haschel: WHOOO HOOOOO!!  
  
Rose: She'll be serving coffee too, I gather.  
  
Rap's: And don't you know it!  
  
Emily: *laughs and tugs on Albert's ponytail*  
  
Albert: I SWEAR to GOD I would have rather taken my chances with the turkeys!!!!  
::they all begin to leave::  
  
Dart: H- HEY!!! What about us!!!??  
  
Shana: *sniffle* YEAH!!! hey!! Rap's!??!? DON'T LEAVE US!!!!!  
  
Dart: DOEL! MERU! ROSE!! STOP!!!!!  
  
Shana: NNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooO!!!!!!  
  
Dart: Goddamnit... AT LEAST CUT AWAY THE ROPES!!!!!!! ... guys? HELLO!!!!!!???  
:outside, the space-cruiser takes off in a puff of smoke::  
-----------------  
THE END!!!!!! 


	2. Obsession? Albert!

  
LOD: The Book of Rambles  
Insanity at it's best: Ramble 2-- Obsession? Albert!

  
  
Character obsession at it's best!! hehe!! Again- hell with spelling. These are rambles for the love of god. Typos just add to the fear factor...  
  
------  
Lloyd: .... Rose?  
  
Rose: Babe?  
  
Lloyd: He's... still doing it....  
  
Rose: Errr?  
  
-Rose blinks oddly from the middle of their cyber tavern, and turns her head to look at Albert. The king of Serdio is, in quite the steady fashion, slamming his head against the far wall-  
  
Rose: ..... Wow. How long has it been, now?  
  
Lloyd: At least four hours... and it's starting to freak me out.  
  
Rose: *yawns and lays down on a nearby couch* So go... slap him or something. I'm gonna take a nap until Rap's arrives.  
  
LLoyd: uuuhhhh... *looks at Albert warily* Could i just, like, snuggle up with you or anything for-  
  
Rose: *EYE BULGE*  
  
Lloyd: *pales* heh!!   
  
- the handsome wingy scoots away and wanders over to... Albert.-  
  
Albert: BLAST! **SLAM** KILL! I'll KILL that evil little **SLAM** evilness! **SLAM** QUEEN!!  
  
Lloyd: *freaked* WHAT!? Emily!?  
  
Albert: *MASSIVE EYE TWITCH* NO you incompetent excuse for a flying potato!! **SLAM**  
  
LLoyd: .... *looks at Rose*  
  
Rose: No, Lloyd- i didn't understand that either.  
  
-Lloyd stares at Albert for a few seconds, then shuffles around and watches him continue to beat his head on the wall. Finally, he decides to try what Rose suggested.-  
  
LLoyd: *pulls back hand* Albert!  
  
Albert: *turns* Wha-!?  
  
Lloyd: *SLAP*  
  
Rose: *jumps up* YOU DUMB ASS!!! he's UNSTABLE!!!  
  
Lloyd: HEY!!? you TOLD Me tooo!!!!! *lip quiver* Why is everyone being so MEAN to me!?  
  
Rose: I... NOOOO!!!!! *points*  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!? What is it!?   
  
--Albert attacks him with a chainsaw--  
  
Lloyd: OOOMMGGGGG!!!!!!!  
  
Albert: MWHAHAHHHAHAHHH!!!!  
  
Rose: *leaps up from the couch and tackles Albert to the floor* STOP!! my GOD!!! *begins to shake him continuously*  
  
Lloyd: *kicks away the chainsaw* And HOW DID HE GET THAT!? The Psychiatrist told us to keep NO DANGEROUS ITEMS INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!  
  
Albert: BURN!!! *lights a match under Rose, and her hair goes up in a ball of fire*  
  
-Rose begins to screams and run around frantically-  
  
Lloyd: I GOT IT!! *jumps Rose*  
  
Rose: MMmmff!!!  
  
Lloyd: heh. SMOTHERED! *poof*  
  
Rose: *lip quivers and Lloyd helps her up, dusting ash from her hair*  
  
--the both turn and stare at Albert, who has returned to his wall--  
  
Lloyd: ..... Holy crap.  
  
Rose: ..... yeah. seriously. he used to be such a nice king...  
  
Lloyd: But.. why?  
  
Rose: oh shut up. Like I said, Rap's is coming over tonight. She started the condition, and she worsens the condition.  
  
Lloyd: huh. *aims a ball of magic fire at Albert's head* I can always just end it all no-  
  
Rose: *SLAP*  
  
Lloyd: *sniff*  
  
Rose: Do that- And Rap's will destroy US. now shut up, siddown, and try to ignore him...  
  
-Albert continues to slam his head against the wall. Only about five minutes later, and a car pulls up outside, right off the internet highway.--  
  
Rose: *sweatdrop* it's.... HER.  
  
Lloyd: okay.. okay... Albert IS here afterall- she won't attak ME- she'll attack HIM!  
  
Rose: just don't make direct eye contact... if you do she might leap on you anyways, got that!?  
  
Lloyd: *nods*  
  
--a hand jiggles the doorknob outside--  
  
Rose: Hold me!  
  
Lloyd and Rose: *clutch and tremble*  
  
--the hand continues to jiggle the doorknob--  
  
Rose: .... er?  
  
???? from outside: BAHH!!!! BOOGENHAGEN BAH BAH BOOGENHAGEN!!!  
  
Lloyd: your sure that aint Meru?  
  
Rose: hah- not a chance. After Rap's became fixated on the word *boogenhagen* when reading Quistis K's story... well... it's become a part of her normal vocabulary.  
  
Lloyd: And the *BAH!?*  
  
Rose: *shrugs*  
  
--violent door knob jiggling ensues--  
  
Lloyd: okay- now this is just lame.  
  
Rap's: *from outside* @#($&@(*&#$^@ DOOR!? HOW DARE YOU DEFY... uh- ME!!! tHE RAPTOR QUEEN OF RUTHA!!!!!???? I shall HAVE YOUR HEAD MOUNTED UPON MY THRONE!!!!  
  
Rose: *shouts* IT'S A @#(&$(@ DOOR RAP'S!!!  
  
--silence--  
  
Rap's: OH!! *kicks in the door* HIYA EVERYBODY!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
Rap's: MWHAHAHH!!! it took me a little bit to get here and all with that traffic- but whatever!! speed bumps are FUUUUNNN!!!! *throws her luggege in the room- one of which hits Rose over the head, and prances inside*  
  
Lloyd: *freaks* ROSE!?  
  
Rose: nNNnnn-ah? NNnoooooogggeeyyy?  
LLoyd: *SCREAM*  
  
Rap's: *bliks, having heard Lloyd scream* GASP!? Ah yes!! My precious Wingly!! LLOYD!! HOW ADORABLE YOU ARE!!! *leans down and gives a tail wiggle- ready to pouce*  
  
Lloyd: NO!! *points* LOOK!! ALBERT!!!  
  
Rap's: *turns on heel* DOUBLE GASP!? My Angel!?  
  
Albert: *stops his masichistic head bonking and looks at Rap's. His eyes open wide in utter, complete, TOTAL horror.*  
  
Rap's: *smile*  
  
Albert: Y... y.... y... y.... YOU!  
  
Rap's: ME!!!  
  
Albert: YYOOOOUUUU!!!!! *points at her* YOU!!!!  
  
Rap's: MMMEEE!!!!! MWHA HA!!! *leaps for him*  
  
albert: *screams and backs up into a corner. Rap's glomps him with ease.*  
  
--from the open door, all the other dragoons file into the room. Dart is looking ill, Shana is weeping quietly, Miranda is cussing, eating an apple, and cussing some more, haschel is dressed in pink, Meru is driving a tricicle, kongol is dressed like a clown,Doel...  
  
All: DOEL!?  
  
Rap's; YES! I LIKE Doel! Doel is a GOD!!! *wraps herself around Albert's waist as he continues to scream*  
  
Doel: MWhAAHAH!!! *points at his Nephew* WUSS!!  
  
Albert: DIE!! *throws a gerbil at him*  
  
All: ......  
  
Dart: yeah, well... ANYWAY... *wanders over to where Lloyd is trying to Revive Rose.* Sorry we all ran late. Shana thought we hit a turtle on the way down here (it was only a leaf) and we had to stop in at various clinics to check if a wounded turtle had been brought in. Then kongol saw a circus.... and after he decided to make a circus act haschel and MEru became his lackys. And MIRANDA- *stops when lloyd kicks him in the leg*  
  
Lloyd: SHUT UP!!! Cant you see SHES HURT!?  
  
Rose: Lloooooooogggeeyyyyyy booooogaaa!!!! *te he he!!* BOOOOGGGAA!!!  
  
Dart: Holy &*#&.....  
  
--Suddenly, lavits wanders into the room, and lloyd freezes--  
  
Lloyd: NO....  
  
Lavits: *spots him* HEY!!!  
  
LLoyd: Stumbles away from Rose and Grabs his head. One arms shoots out and points at Rap's* I THOUGHT SHE WASN'T GOING TO BRING HIM!!!  
  
Miranda: @#($&(@*#& Who? @#& lavits?  
  
Lloyd: ye.. yes!! Everyone knows that when we.... we are in a ramble together... we can't... stop...  
  
Lavits: *jogs up* DUDE!!!  
  
Lloyd: *broken instaltly* DUDE!!!  
  
Lavits and Lloyd: DDUUUUDDEEEE!!!  
  
All: OMG.  
  
Shana: SHIT!  
  
All: ..... *assorted cabbages hits Shana on the head- and she dies*  
  
Dart: SHANA!!!! *assorted paperclips hits Dart on the head, and he dies.*  
  
LLoyd: *pulls out pokemon cards, indifferent to the deaths of Shana and Dart. Frankly- no one notices* DUDE!! POKEMON!! Lets play!!  
  
Lavits: DUDE!! that is so cool!! i have my deck too!!  
  
Lloyd: DUDE!?  
  
Lavits: SERIOUSLY DUDE!!!!  
  
Lavits and Lloyd: DUUUUUDDEEEEEE!!!  
  
Haschel: What the hell ever happened to all that arch enemy stuff and whatnot?  
  
Rap's: TRIVIAL, my friends! TRIVIAL!! Afterall, it is *I* who writes this ramble, and it is *I*I who holds powers within!! Albert- * yanks his ponytail* come.   
  
Doel: Wooo- thats harsh.  
  
Rap's: DOEL- *grins at him coyly*  
  
Doel: Shutting up...  
  
Rap's: *settles on one of the couches- arms still attached to Albert's middle. He, in the meantime, who is simply gazing off into space* NOW- i brought you all here today to discuss a VERY important topic.  
  
Haschel: MY MARRIGE TO BARBRA STRISAND!!??? OMG!! Rap's- you SHOULDNT have!!!  
  
Rap's: wtf. Okay? just WTF.  
  
Haschel: but... but i want you all to come!! there are many preparations and- *One of Dee's patented Toilets knocks haschel dead to the floor*  
  
Meru: ehhe!! Man- He's just having no luck with staying alive lately...  
  
Kongol: KONGOL WANT SEAT. *sits on haschel*  
  
All: ....  
  
Rap's: okay.. whatever. We are all going to talk about my gettiing married!! See- haschel was KINDA RIGHT!!  
  
Rose: BOOOOGGAAA TOOOOOOOOooooommmhhppppeee!!!!  
  
Rap's: *laughs* EXACTLY Rose! I'm getting married to Albert!!!  
  
All: .......  
  
Rap's; CLAP! you worthless DOGS!!  
  
All: *quiet clapping*  
  
Rap's: Yes, i KNEW you would approve!!  
  
Lloyd: *coughs* uh- RAP"S!!! he;'s kinda Married to EMILY... REMEMBER!? .. OH!! CHARIZARD!! *throws a card down on the mat he and Lavits are playing on* HA!!  
  
Lavits: DAMN!!  
  
Rap's: tch!! Emily Smemily. I sent her to el paso, erased her memory, and now she's living with Russel Crow.  
  
Doel: Ah yes... my evil twin.... ehhehe..  
  
Meru: ... Doel?  
  
Doel: Shut up.  
  
Rap's: SO!? All!? What do you think???!  
  
All: .....  
  
Rap's; DO i HONESTLY have to cut in with the worthless dog thing again!?  
  
Miranda: *sigh* RAP"S!!! it's not that!! Will you stop being insane and just LOOK AT HIM!!?? *jerks Albert from her grasp and wiggles his limp body* he's ttally gone!! you've fried his brain!! GAME OVER!! VEGITABLE!! COFFEE OVERLOAD!!!  
  
Rap's: HE IS NOt!! *grabs Albert back* look- see!? Don't you agree with me, Angel!? *coughs and nudges Albert fowards. His head slumps down* HAHHH!!!  
  
Miranda: *eye roll*  
  
Rap's: *growls* LOOK- I killed Haschel for some weird reason- and I LIKE HIM. You I just HATE- So shut up or become FODDER.  
  
Miranda: *edges away*  
  
Rap's; Its setled then. im getting married to albert. hah.  
  
--Somewhere deep, deep DEEP inside the subconsious mind of the poor, distrought king of Serdio, something very freaky clicks, overturns, and shatters altogether as he hears Rap's speak of this coming doom.... let us hope it is not his last threads of sanity, yes?--  
  
Albert: *wakes up, looks at Rap's, and blinks*  
  
Rap's: hiya Angel!  
  
Albert: ELEPHANT MOCHA FRAPPACHINO'S!!!  
  
--Yep. He's a total loon.--  
  
Rap's: Okay?  
  
Albert: DIE!!! *pounces on her* YOU!!! EVIL!! FREAK!! NATURE!!! DIE!! DIE!!! DIE!! EVIL FREAK!! DIE!!! FREAK!!! NATURE DIE!!!! FREAK!!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
Miranda: So.. he went from having the largest vocabulary of all of us, to a limit of three words?  
  
Meru: I guess. Should we help Rap's?  
  
Doel: of course not. *throws Albert a Flame thrower*  
  
Lavits and Lloyd: *oblivious*  
  
Albert: THROWER OF FLAME!? *catch* FLAMING THROWER!? HAH!!! *uses some weird form of fanfiction enabled magic to change outfits. Rap's, Meanwhil, is just looking at him oddly*  
  
Rap's: Angel... if you want to flame things im all for that. its a favorite passtime actually.. but... I....... uh....???  
  
Albert: FLAME ELEPHANT BOOGENHAGEN!! *fluffs a pink dress and pets the cat that is attached to his hair*  
  
ALL: O...M.....G......  
  
Rap's: ..... Okay, I'm speechless. Even I didn't see the cat-in-the-hair thing coming. Honestly.  
  
Albert: *backflips off the couch and torches the pokemon cards. Traces of evil spit up from the dying embers. Afterall, they ARE pokemon*  
  
Lavits: DUDE!? TCh!! Albert- WHAT THE HELL!?  
  
Lloyd: YEAH!! seriously!! *blinks as the king turns on them* uh.. heh...?  
  
Albert: BURN MENTHOS FRESHNESS!!! *flames* BUURNNNNNNN!!!!  
  
--Everyone runs around screaming- and Rap's dives behind the coffee table--  
  
Rap's; heheh!!! *giggles* BURn Angel!! BUUURRNNNNN!!!  
  
Albert: BURN!  
  
Doel: You stupid psychopath! DIE!!  
  
Albert: Moogles!? *throws the cat in his hair at Doel*  
  
Doel: WTF!?  
  
Cat: *eats his face*  
  
Doel: OOMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!  
  
Meru: EEEEEeeiiiiiiii!!! DONT JUST SIT THERE!! Somebody DO something!!!!!  
  
--very suddenly, all the lights go out--  
  
All: *freaked*  
  
lloyd: okay.. just.. stay together....  
  
Lavits: GOD!! Were Doomed!!  
  
kongol: *begins to cry*  
  
Rap's; MWHAHAHAHH!! This is so FUNNN!!!!  
  
Doel: WHAT!?  
  
--the lights suddenly turn back on, and yet are very dim...--  
  
Meru: *backs up* Ooooo.... I don't see Albert Anywhere... i can only... hear that CAT...  
  
Doel: *shrugs* Well he SHOULD be easy to see. the guy is wearing PINK for god's sake. *slaps himself* i have the most SCREWED UP family...  
  
Meru: okay.. fine.. but...  
  
Albert: *forms out of a wall*  
  
All: *SCREAM*   
  
Albert: BURN!!  
  
--the running continues--  
  
--Outside, Rap's is sitting on the roof to the tavern, yawning and kicking snow with her feet. She can hear easily all the screaming below, and giggles happily.--  
  
Rap's: I give them five minutes before al hell breaks loose and they chop you to bits.  
  
Albert: Is that so? *sips some coffee* Damned sadist.  
  
Rap's: *bats eyes* I AM N... Oh! thanks. *coughs* it's a good thing I'm always cloning you. Once one clone goes insane after a period of my affections- i always have two in reserve... and then the real you- of course.  
  
Albert: Hnnn.... *eyes her warily* your a mean one....  
  
Rap's; *pouts* Not uh!!! Although- Whaddaya think about that marrige proposal huh? *nudge* NIFTY!!!!! Come on- huh huh huh!? ya wanna get married!? Do ya!?!?  
  
Albert: You really HAVE no life, do you?! Sitting around all day, writing ludicrous stories that involve cats, pink dresses, and marrige proposals to created character designs?!  
  
Rap's: Yeah, so!?  
  
Albert: ....... (.... she is SUCH a freak....)  
  
Rap's: I READ THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE!!!  
  
Albert: Yeah....  
  
Rap's; WELL!? about US!?  
  
Albert: *pushes Rap's off the roof, onto shrp rocks. She dies*  
  
Rap's: *revivs herself and stomps back up to the roof* @#($*&@(# THAT!! NO KILLING ME!!! IT'S NOT NICE!!! just because Im IMMORTAL does NOT mean you get to use that to your sick, twisted ideas of advanta- *Albert shoves her off the roof again. She dies*  
  
Albert: *snicker*  
  
Rap's: *climbs back up* YOU @#($&@(@#(& @#(& I'm gonna @(#&$( your (@#&$(-!!!!  
  
Albert: *shoves her off the roof again*  
  
Rap's: @#($&@(*#&$@(*!!!!!  
  
Albert: hehehehh......  
  
-----------------  
THE END!!!!!! 


	3. Strip Poker and LLOYD!

  


"One of *Those* Nights."  
Contest Prize written for Singer, by Rap's

  
"Absolutely not."  
  
"Come oooOOOnnnn.... I KNOW you want too!!"  
  
"Don't you think I have better things to do with my time then stay up late, ogle over an assortment of cards, attempt to stay awake AND bet off the precious little money I have!?"  
  
"Our RPG has ended, and we are all both broke and seriously bored! of COURSE you don't have better things to do!! Now join us at the damned table!!!"  
  
"We don't even have any money to bet!"  
  
"LLO~oYD!!!!"  
  
Red eyes flashing, Lloyd growled at Meru from behind a glass of water, and then lifted his head carefully afterwards to eye the girl. She flashed a grin.   
  
"Pwease?" Meru tried sweetly.  
  
Lloyd groaned and covered his eyes with one arm. Above the light flickered- below, the second level porch on which he was seated gracefully arched into a ground level bar area. This average lohan tavern was looking more and more grim... especially with Dart's evil eyes waggling towards him. Who'se bright idea it was to COME here ANYWAY would need a serious taking too...  
  
The red eye dragoon was grinning like a madman. "What'sa matter Lloyd? Afraid I'll beat your ass?"  
  
Lloyd, with a happy smile, quietly summoned a ball of menacing white light into one palm and raised it suggestively. Dart shut up.  
  
"Lloyd-!" And it was Meru again, lightly tugging on his arm."Come on!! Your a great poker player for one, and we need another person!!!" Bow tie giving a jittery bounce, she pointed at herself, Rose, Dart, Singer, and Albert- all of whom were sitting in the area below them.  
  
The king of Serdio, who had been quietly reading a book, looked up quietly. "Um...? I'm playing?  
  
Meru nodded.  
  
"I really don't-!"  
  
Meru growled, and all was quiet.  
  
'Meru- look..." And Lloyd leaned back in his chair, yawning quickly. "I don't wanna play, ya know?!? I'd beat you all blind, and wouldn't even get anything for it! Does anyone here actually have any cash besides the king?  
  
Singer, who had been snoring softly, popped open one eye and glared upwards. She was seated daintily over one of the chairs surrounding a large square table, arms serving as a makeshift pillow for her head. Rose was beside her with a knife in hand.  
  
A blink.  
  
"What... did you just say?"  
  
Lloyd glanced down at her. "uh...?"  
  
"Beat us all blind? I think that's how it went..."  
  
Lloyd sweatdropped.  
  
Rose coughed curtly. Raised a slender brow up at Lloyd and the smirking Meru. Looking directly at the older Wingly, she gently nudged Singer in the ribs and laughed.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it. We all know the real reason Lloyd doesn't want to play. Can't blame him, I suppose."  
  
Lloyd narrowed his eyes. "What!? What are you talking about?"  
  
Meru stretched backwards across the table nearest Lloyd and yawned mischievously."It's okay Lloyd!! It's nothing to be ashamed of!"  
  
Now, Lloyd was getting anxious. Even Albert had an annoying little smile plastered over his features. Mouth twitching to his extreme left, Lloyd stood from his chair and glared down upon the group.   
  
"What the HELL!?"  
  
Almost as if on cue, Rose unsheathed a bottle of whiskey. She had leaned backwards in the few moments beforehand to extract it from a row of holders that lined the wall.   
  
"Singer beats you at... everything. You DO remember that drinking game, don't you?"  
  
Lloyds right eye gave a spasmodic twitch.  
  
"That..." and he looked helplessly into Singer's glowing eyes. "That.. Was SO unfair!! She cheated!!"  
  
"That was SO unfair!! She cheated!!" Dart mimicked, wiggling his fingers mockingly and throwing back his head with laughter. Singer then let a smile curl her lips as Lloyd once again raised a palm.  
  
Everyone just stared at Dart- who was now plastered against the far wall in a bloody heap. Indifferently, they returned to their discussion, and Lloyd shook off the dying glow of magic from his hand.  
  
"You cant say she cheated just because you screwed up at every other interval in the song...." Albert said nonchalantly, crossing one leg over the other as Lloyd eyed him with a glare.  
  
"Watch it. You want to land up like Dart boy over there?"  
  
Albert smirked. "And leave you to deal with Rap's?"  
  
Lloyd shut up instantly, and muttered a string of obscenities. After a few moments had passed, he warily regarded Singer as the half dragon took to floating a few inches off the ground, traveling about the area and getting a feel for the different breeds of alcohol the local tavern supported.  
  
Why was he getting a very bad feeling about this?  
  
Meru laughed. "Don't looks so squeamish! Singer is usually a ton more hyper then THIS- and all she's doing at the moment is plotting your approaching doo- I mean, getting out a few drinks!"  
  
"Yeah!!" And Rose, who had spoken, craned her head to regard her. "Maybe Singer will give you a rematch, Lloyd! Another Drinking game!" She buried the knife she had been toying with into the thick wood of the table.   
  
Just then- Singer hefted an 8ft tall bottle of vodka out from behind the counter.  
  
Everyone stared as she began to laugh sadistically.  
  
"Excuse me..." Albert began, shrinking back into the couch he was perched upon as Singer glared at him evilly. "I mean.. Not to interrupt the evil laughter and all.. But.. No one else finds this a little weird?"  
  
Singer lashed her tail side to side and blinked. "Considering what I'm used to? No."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Meru called to him.  
  
Albert just Shrugged."I mean.. One.. We are all sitting in a little tavern in lohan for no real reason other then that the game has ended. Two, I am calling it a game. Three- Lloyd is alive, and Dart was just plastered against the wall a few minutes ago. Four... who IS Singer, anyways? Does an eight foot bottle of vodka actually exist?"  
  
Singer grinned, walked over to him, and handed Albert the script of "A Dragoons Christmas Carol"  
  
".... oh." He blinked. "I must have blocked this from my mind..."  
  
"yeah, tough luck. Remember that one, Lloyd?" the half dragon grinned with a show of fangs.  
  
Silver hair drooping slightly over his eyes, Lloyd paled in response. "We are... yet again at the mercy of an insane author... I should have known from the start..."  
  
Albert nodded gravely, and Even Rose looked a tad bit frightened. "Indeed. Let us hope that, whomever lay above, is not..."  
  
Everyone except Singer grew quiet, knowing that surely he meant Rap's. Oblivious to the sudden unease of her companions, the teenage addition to this jumbled assortment of LOD characters began lining up rows upon rows of bottles. She was grinning to herself, picking out the best, putting some back, and repeating the process.  
  
"Well, anyways. Like Rose was Saying- I'm thinking of exactly that!! I'll give you another shot to prove yourself, Lloyd!!" Wings extending, Singer floated upwards and perched on what seemed to be an invisible patch of air. "Another drinking gam,e- this time with a song you know REALLY well..." She blinked innocently."If I win? You have to play poker with us. If you win? I won't force you to play anymore anything."  
  
"Force?" Lloyd Smirked. "I'll decline, thanks. You can't MAKE me take up this deal, er whatever."  
  
"You know that *thing* Rap's Does to Albert? With the hugging and the kissing and the general inability to breath thing going on?"   
  
Lloyd cocked a brow at her, watching Albert shudder unconsciously."Awww. Your going to-!?"  
  
"Replace that with a good deal of kicks, punches, assorted spells, general freakiness, bits of sadism, long term-" And she stopped, grinning happily as Lloyd leapt from the above platform and sat down at the table. Meru followed shortly after- giving a loud "WHOOOO HOOOOO!!!!"  
  
"Good boy."   
  
Lloyd glared.  
  
"Alright then. What song?" And Rose shifted in her seat, allowing Singer access to the table. First came the eight foot bottle of vodka, then the whiskey Rose had been holding, and a further assortment of alcoholic beverages. She narrowed her eyes evilly. "all right, everyone know how to play?  
  
"Everyone!?" Albert pipped. "I thought it was just going to be you and Lloyd!  
  
"Well, yeah. I thought so too till just a second or so ago. Come on, it'll be FUN Albert! Meru? Rose? You in?"  
  
Meru was already clapping her hands in anticipation, although Rose didn't seem half as delighted. She shifted a bit of Raven hair from her eyes and blinked at the bottles on the table.  
  
"Hmm... no, actually. I'm not much of a drinker." She tapped the graceful sword that hung at her belt. "It dulls my skills. We can't have that if Lloyd gets out of hand, now can we?"  
  
"Oh come on!" Lloyd whined. "Doesn't ANYONE have faith in me!?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"God- you people are mean..." The Wingly nuzzled back into his chair and sulked.  
  
Singer just chuckled and smiled at him kindly. "Yes, Lloyd. We have faith in you. Don't be such a baby." And before catching his scalding glare, She shrugged once and nodded at Meru. "Okay then. You, me and Lloyd. We pick a song, sing it as fast as we can.. And the first person who messes up takes a drink. Then? repeat the process till someone in the running can't stand anymore."  
  
"I'm SO going to win!!" Meru declared, kicking her sandals high. Lloyd just stared at her.  
  
"Alright- what song will you be going on with?" Albert inquired from the nearby couch.  
  
"How about; "Row Row Row you boat..." Rose snickered. "I think Lloyd can handle that one." She gracefully stomped on the boot that moved to kick her and grinned at Lloyd yelp.  
  
"NO!!!" Meru giggled excitedly. "The MACERINA!!!"  
  
Everyone shuddered.  
  
"Well, I actually have an idea." Albert said, ignoring the antics around him. He waited until he had won the attention of his companions before continuing. "What about that... that one song. The one that doesn't end."  
  
Rose blinked. "What?"  
  
"With the lamb and that scary woman?"  
  
Singer raised a brow at the king and coughed lightly. "Um... are you okay?"   
  
"no, no- seriously. Rap's watches it all the time. " And they all stared at him in an "Ooooohhhh" Fashion. "It's a dreadful little show- and the tune just.. Sticks... you can't get it out of your head! It just *stays* and *builds* and it's *horrible* And no matter what you do...-!"  
  
"AAAAllllllbert!!!" Meru cut in. "We get the picture!! WHy would we want to sing something like that!!!??"  
  
"Heh... yes, well.." He leaned backwards. "It's fast, and BECAUSE it's rather short but continuous- AND binds itself to memory.. I thought that would be appropriate. For Lloyd and all."  
  
"-for Lloyd and all..-" The Wingly grumbled. "I'm not helpless! I can go with any damned song you give me!"  
  
Ignoring him, Albert continued. "Besides. It would be very amusing to watch your three sing it."  
  
Singer growled at him, but then relented a few moments later and shrugged her shoulders. "Okay then. Lets use the song that doesn't end. What's the name?"  
  
Albert blinked. "This is the song that doesn't end."  
  
"Yeah, I know. The name?"  
  
"That IS the name,"  
  
"Oh." Singer raised her brows as is uneasy. "O... kay?"  
  
"But I don't know how it GOOOOEESSS!!!" Meru wailed as if just realizing something utterly horrible. Lloyd swatted a hand in her general direction, but then relented to the truth in her bawling and leaned back in his chair.  
  
"Neither do I...." he grinned. "Care to sing it for us, Albert?"  
  
The tall ash blonde gave a sarcastic "Hah." And threw the nearest couch pillow at his head. After watching the item slip off Lloyd's scandalized face, Rose hefted both boots onto the table and yawned.  
  
"Well? We can't sing it if we don't KNOW it!"  
  
"Don't worry. I'll put it on the TV." Albert shot a beam of green light into Dart- who still lay slumped against the far wall. Dart, in turn, morphed into a Television set.  
  
Singer blinked, moved her chair to face the apparatus, and shrugged. "Didn't see that coming- but okay."  
  
"What!?" Meru squealed happily. "How'd you do that!?"  
  
"Fanfiction enabled magic." Albert shrugged and produced a remote control from his side pocket.  
  
"OH OH OH!!??!! you can *do* That in these types of stories?!"  
  
"Well nothing has really made sense as of YET." Lloyd cut in, turning to face the small girl. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, Meru burst in absolute hysterics as he did so. It was with indignation that he then turned to find Rose, Albert and Singer doing much of the name. Singer of whom was pointing and "MWhAHAHHH!!!!" ing like a madwoman.  
  
Lloyd didn't even bother to ask. Something felt very tight and very... frilly around his waist.  
  
Singer lifted up a slender claw and said; "Remember Lloyd!! FANFICTION enabled magic!! I honestly didn't mean too!!"  
  
There he sat- in blue tights and a pink tutu. Lloyds gaze turned absolutely Feral. unfortunately, as all three people sitting around him tried there best not to laugh (They didn't have a DEATHWISH afterall...) something hideous began to blare from the TV set.  
  
Albert promptly covered his head with a pair of earmuffs.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._  
  
"OOOMMMGGGGG!!!!!!" Lloyd's hands flew from the tutu at his waist to his trembling ears. "WHAT IS IT!? OH GOD- WHAT *IS* it!?  
  
"It's... the song that doesn't end..." And Singer watched in horror as a scary woman began dancing on the screen of the Dart-enabled Television. A lamb puppet adorned either hand. Singing puppets. Everyone looked at Albert.  
  
"Rap's WATCHES THIS!?" Rose boomed in a horrified voice.  
  
Albert nodded. "Yeah. Scary, is it not?"  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end..._  
  
"Gods- it won't stop!! it's NOT STOPPING!!!" Singer joined Lloyd now in covering her head, drawing both knees up to her chest in a double cringe. "It just... it just-!!"  
  
Meru blinked rapidly, watching the program. "It really DOESN'T end!!!!"  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._   
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._   
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no-_  
  
An explosion rocked the tavern and, breathing heavily, Lloyd dropped his arm and prepared another fireball just in *case*"  
  
But alas- the Television was no more. It's crippled mass smoked, sparked, and bled just a little. Quietly regaining himself, Lloyd let the magic die in his hand. He could hear Rose putting her sword away as she realized the evil demonic tune had stopped.  
  
"Lloyd?"  
  
He turned to look at Singer.  
  
"I could kiss you!"  
  
"Really?!"  
  
"Well, if your tutu wasn't on fire, anyways."  
  
Lloyd looked down and, sure enough, a ring of fire blazed around his middle where a tutu had previously been.  
  
"(@#&$*&!!!! HELP ME!!!"  
  
"Stop drop and roll!!" Rose shouted, moving forwards as Meru leapt from her chair to assist. Singer grabbed Albert's cape, yanked him forwards, and began beating Lloyd over the stomach with it's length. That didn't work- as now Albert's cape was on fire too. The king of Serdio blinked at the flames.  
  
"AHHHHH!!!!"   
  
"Oh crap! Water!! We need WATER!!" Meru shouted.  
  
'DRAGOON Meru!! GO DRAGOON" Rose shouted back.  
  
An instant later, and the blue sea dragoon began to cast a quick spell. Singer and Rose had just enough time to jump away before the vibrant effects of Diamond Dust peeled into the air and put out the two mini-blazes.  
  
Lloyd and Albert just lay on the ground and twitched. Singer poked them both with a toe.  
  
"Um... you couldn't have just flashed a little bit of water magic on them...??"  
  
"I..." And Meru smiled sheepishly, returning to her original form. "I guess I didn't think of it..." She knelt down beside the guys and made an apologetic face. "Sorry!!!"  
  
After about fifteen minutes had passed, Lloyd and Albert finally began to come around. Albert returned, somewhat dazed, to his seat on the couch, and with the Help of Singer Lloyd managed to reach his chair once again. It looked as if this would be the end to their night. (With the TV busted and no real ideas for another song popping up) Until Meru began to hum...  
  
"Oh, MY god." And Rose looked up at her. "Albert was right..."  
  
"huh?" Singer glanced at the small Wingly as well, lifting her head from the pillow her arms has provided once again.  
  
"This is da' sonnnggg that doesn't ennddd! Yes it goes on and on my friend.. Some people, start it singin'...."  
  
And Meru continued like that, oblivious.  
  
"Told you." Albert yawned sleepily, shaking ashes from his cape. He sighed and lay down over the furniture beneath him. "Blown up or not- the evil thing has managed to imprint itself within our minds."  
  
Lloyd was beginning to, if not somewhat in a dazed fashion, sing along with Meru.  
  
Everyone Stared.  
  
"Ohhh.. no...." And Singer suddenly felt the words rise within her thoughts. They had. They really *had* managed to stick it to her mind!!! But how!? She.. She had made a point of trying to SHUT the accursed thing OUT!!  
  
Rose gave a sigh and smiled wryly. "I guess we can begin that drinking game then, huh? That damned song... Even I know the words...  
  
Everyone, with the exception of Albert, began to giddily jumble the words in unison.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._  
  
"ahh!!! We actually know it!! W do!! WE DO!!"  
  
"I can't beeline I just recited that piece of crap..." Rose clunked her head down upon the table.  
  
"But it *is* Sort of amusing, ain't it?" And Singer, Who had spoken, once again began to eye the bottles before her. "Alright!!! LETS DO THIS!!! I picked out everything already! We might as well!!"  
  
Rose stood and joined Albert on the couch, both of them watching quietly as Meru, Lloyd and Singer took their positions. Each on a different corner (With one side of the square table left open so that Rose and Albert might easily watch on) Meru passed out three shot glasses and the games began.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._  
  
Laughter.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it sing.. it? AHHH!!_  
  
Meru took a drink.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't Start.. uh .. tart... NOOOO!!_  
  
Lloyd filled his glass and gulped the contents.  
  
_This is the song that doesn't end!  
Yes it goes on and on my friend!  
Some people start it singin' for no reason as it was-  
but there they go just ringin' with the singin now because..._   
  
And so the next hour or so continued in this fashion. Albert and Rose burst out laughing on more then a few occasions.. and counted the drinks each person took. Whisky bottles depleted, the vodka came next. Down and down and down...   
  
Lloyd, by the 134th shot, was looking mighty peachy.  
  
Singer and Meru, on the other hand, were tied with 4 drinks each.  
  
"Guys.." And Albert shook his head. "This isn't even FAIR anymore! he's nearly incoherent!"  
  
Lloyd promptly stuck out his tongue and slung his body backwards to glare at him. "Shaddup you! Im'a doin fine you know cause' they er' SO loooossssiinnn...  
  
Singer, chuckling, was forced to nod. "I know, I know... amazing though, ain't it? Winglies sure have a high tolerance for alcohol if he's lasted THIS long. 134 drinks? Thats humanly impossible...  
  
Meru giggled. "Yeah! Oh well... Lets call it quits huh? Besides, we never mess up!!" She pumped both fists in the air. "GIRLS RULE THE WORLD!!"  
  
"Not uh whatcha talkin bout'." Lloyd slurred, swatting at her arms. "Another round! Come n' les' go!"   
  
Everyone stared as a big funny grin spreading languidly across his mouth. Afterwards, Lloyd made a; "iiieeeeee!!!" sound and hurled himself to the floor. The chair he had occupied went tumbling backwards at an instant... and as soon as Lloyd hit the ground a reeling laughter began up from his throat.  
  
Singer capped the bottle of vodka. " We are SO done..."  
  
Rose peered over at the giggling Lloyd. "He's all.. Bubbly... What do we *do* with him now?"  
  
"Well we cant play poker." Meru yawned. "Besides, I don't really want to anymore... that was forever ago when we actually HAD the idea." She smiled. "It wouldn't be fair on Lloyd anyways! He can't play well like this!"  
  
Rose nodded quickly. "Yeah. As much as I'd love to rip him off, it's just not right. None of us rally have anything to bet anyways. You all wanna retire for the night? This fanfic has to end at SOME point..."  
  
Meru and Albert had just nodded their heads in agreement when, all of a sudden, Singer jumped upwards from her chair with the most DEVIOUS of expressions. She was eyeing Lloyd like a happy three year old. Tapping her claws quickly along the table.  
  
Albert raised a brow, looked at the mumbling Lloyd, and then back to Singer. "Um..?"  
  
"Two words..." She almost hummed, smiling at him. "Strip Poker."  
  
"SINGER!" Rose protested.  
  
"Oh come ON!!!" And She waved her arms in excitement. "We'll NEVER get a chance like this again! Think about it Rose, okay!? Strip poker!? Lloyd- drunk as a skunk... and completely at our mercy.  
  
Meru blinked. "That sounds SO wrong..."  
  
"No, no, NO." And Albert let a parental frown crease his brow. "That IS wrong. Imagine if Lloyd found out? He'd be throwing fireballs this way and that! NOT to mention the fact that I am MALE and do not exactly entertain the thought of viewing a half naked Lloyd."  
  
Singer rolled her eyes. "Oh come on!! You were going to be playing too, remember!?"  
  
Albert blinked. "That was by Meru's decree. I absolutely refuse."  
  
Lloyd giggled again, still lying prone on his tipped chair, and everyone shot him a glance.  
  
Rose suddenly grinned a little, and turned her head to look at Albert. "What? Would you feel better if we brought Emily on the scene?" and seeing as how the king looked about ready to kill her, Rose jumped up from the couch as a precaution. Seated herself at the big square table once again.  
  
Singer grinned. "Alright! That makes me, Rose, and Lloyd goes without saying. Meru?"  
  
Meru's eyes flashed as she looked at Lloyd. "Hell yes. I'm the camera girl!!!" And she quickly used a bit of fanfiction magic to make a camcorder appear in her hands. "I wanna get this thing ALLLLL on tape!!!" She turned the device towards each of them in turn.  
  
"Beginning tonight with Rose, Myself, and Singer, is a game of grand GRAND poker!! Strip poker, that is! The betting? Clothes only!! The winner? She who is left the most dressed! The wuss who won't play!!?" Meru panned the lense over to Albert. "Our very own king of Serdio!"  
  
"HEY!" Albert glared at her.  
  
"Well its TRU~ue!" she taunted. "Come on!! PLAY PLAY PLAY!!"  
  
"I really don't *WANT* to!"  
  
"But it's better to play with five people!!"  
  
"NO!!!!"   
  
Singer growled at him, and then looked above. "RAP"S!!!!!"  
  
An instant later, and Albert was shuffling through a deck of cards.  
  
*****  
  
"This time.. I gotcha ALL! heheh!! ALL of ya's!!"   
  
Meru could barely hold her giggles as Lloyd threw down another loosing hand with triumphant flourish. He was giddy to the hilt, glaring at them all with such lopsided defiance that laughter spread like wild fire throughout the group. Twice they had had to upright his chair from an excited fall. Twice they had had to *help* him remove the article of clothing he'd lost in the play.  
  
By now, Lloyd was down to his pants and boots. The woman had been modest with him. First the collar, then the necklace, then the armlets, then the vest, then the undershirt... Rose seemed almost annoyed that it was *taking* so long for them to unveil any real flesh. That alone had sent both Singer and Meru in crying hysterics.  
  
Albert, all along, simply averted his gaze and thumbed through his cards. He had learned by way of already loosing both singed cape and chest armor that is was much safer to *fold* then deal a hand. Rose was fairing best of all- and Meru had only removed a bowtie as of yet. They kind of played around her loosing, as the young Wingy had very little in the way of clothing as it were.  
  
"So what shall it be *this* time girls?" And Singer grinned at both Rose and Meru.  
  
" A BOOT- please." Albert snapped irritably.  
  
Meru giggled: "Rose wants the pants!! THE PANTS!!"  
  
"I do NOT!!"  
  
"Wazza talking ABOUT!!!" Lloyd giggled, blinking innocently. "I haveta get uuunndressed agains?"  
  
"Yeah, babe. Try the left boot this time." And singer began to laugh once more as, in immediate reaction, Lloyd swung a foot up and topped his chair yet again. He laughed all the way down. Hiccuped- laughed.  
  
"Oh, gods!!!" Meru slapped her forehead. She picked up her camcorder and trained it on Lloyd "Albert- you help him this time!! I'm tired of doing it!!"  
  
"Yeah, and remove that boot while your at it." Singer put in. "I don't think he'll be able to alone..."  
  
Protesting would get him no where. That was yet another thing Albert had learned while in the game. Singer would always raise her head, Call Rap's, and gods knew he did NOT want to deal with her. Blackmail, was what it was! The king of Serdio stood from his chair and hefted Lloyd back into his seat.   
  
"All you chicksss huh? Cause you know how to play! Girls ammm pokkkeerrr!!! Kick assss-ness!!" Lloyd flailed briefly as Albert pushed he and the chair upright. "Mmmm FLYING!!!"  
  
Albert smacked him as the women began to laugh again. "Will you shut up!!?!? your NOT flying!! Your just DRUNK!!" he reached down and tugged off Lloyd's left boot, throwing it into a pile beside the Wingly. Albert glared over at Singer and, just as he was about to sit back down...  
  
Lloyd swung out an arm, caught him by the hair, and kissed him full on the mouth.  
  
The crying hysterics became spasmodic convulsions. Laughing that hard could be considered a danger to one's health. Singer doubled over- folded her arms over her chest. Meru could barely keep her camcorder still- and dropped it. Rose... Rose was unable to breathe.  
  
Albert, meanwhile, embarked on a cycle of sputtering and cursing that could have put Cid Highwind to shame.  
  
Lloyd just grinned and waved his arms again. The chair tipped once more.  
  
***  
  
"Your *sure* your okay Albert?" Meru asked. She waved a hand in front of his set, glaring face. "Albert?  
  
"Go away. I am going to sleep."  
  
Meru twitched her nose. "Oh come on. So he kissed you. Lloyd was drunk- big deal!  
  
"Go away. I am going to sleep." And in having repeated that, Albert threw a heavy pillow over his head and lay back down over the couch.  
  
"How er' you going to breath like that!? Come on Albert- come back to the table!"  
  
Albert removed the pillow just long enough to shout: "BBAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" And replace it over his face.  
  
Meru blinked. Wandered back over to the group.  
  
"Any luck?" Rose asked.   
  
Singer shook her head and giggled as Meru made a face. "I think that just about traumatized him for life. I didn't know royalty was *ALLOWED* to know that many cuss words!"  
  
"But you DID get that on tape, right!?" Rose said quickly. Meru smiled.  
  
"The whole thing. I know I dropped the camcorder.. But I checked the tape. It was fine!"  
  
Each of them looked back at Lloyd who, for the past half hour after his 'episode' with Albert, had been making paper planes.  
  
"Boomzzaway!" He cackled madly, and threw a barrage of the things at Singer's head. "MWHAHAHAHHAhahahah!!!"  
  
"Yeah, okay." Singer grinned. "So what's your next hand there, Lloyd?"  
  
The game continued as usual.  
  
It was probably the smily face boxers that did them all in. Eventually the right boot and pants had come off, leaving Lloyd only in his modest shorts. The big happy smiles were simply too much, and girls laughed even harder then they had an hour before. Sometime in all this fuss Albert woke up, looked at Lloyd, and left the room with a couch pillow under one arm.  
  
Sleeping outside seemed like a very good idea.  
  
And it was, considering what Singer, Meru and Rose were now debating about.  
  
"Sssssoo..." Meru grinned. "Should we continue? All or none?  
  
Rose coughed politely and glanced at the drunken Wingly. "I'm.... voting.. for..."  
  
"The fact that your HESITATING.." Singer cackled. "Means that you want to continue! What do'ya say, girls? Go for the nude?"  
  
Giggles began once again, until an abrupt male cough interrupted them.  
  
"Well, if your done..." And Lloyd's eyes lit up with some sort of shrewd glee as three shocked faced turned to regard him. "Can we continue? I know you all can't get enough of my very sexy self... but what do you say we turn the tables of this little affair, ne?"  
  
"No... way..." Meru began.  
  
"Yes way." Lloyd grinned, and laughed aloud as Rose blushed hotly. Singer just looked surprised as all hell. Somewhat annoyed and somewhat giddy.  
  
"How LONG have you been sober!?" The half dragon asked incredulously.  
  
"I just about began to realize what was happening after Albert went to sleep. You DO like my boxers, don't you?"  
  
The three were speechless.  
  
Lloyd, delighted with himself, yawned a little and bid them continue the game. This time around, however, Lloyd won every hand. He was damned skilled... and soon armor began to drop, necklaces were removed, Rose even ended up in her tanktop and cotton undies.  
  
Singer and Meru were not far behind.  
  
At last Lloyd declared mercy and let the girls off. He dressed and grinned at each of them in triumph. Watched them all pull their clothing back into proper order and flashed a grin at every Deathglare Rose sent his way. heh. For once he'd gotten the upper hand in one of these damned fanfics!!  
  
"I suppose you deserve to gloat.." Meru was saying. "I mean... You made an ass out of yourself just to lead us on!!!"  
  
Singer plopped back on the couch Albert had previously occupied and chuckled. "I can't argue there. Heh. I wonder what Miranda and the others will say once they see that tape huh?"  
  
Lloyd grinned. "Nah- we don't need to show it to them. It'll be like some weird ass peep show or something.. and I don't hate you girls THAT much!"  
  
Rose let out a whooping sigh of relief, and then nodded. "Yeah. I guess It's good for you, too." She smiled at the Singer and Meru. "What would Lavits and the other guys say if they knew he kissed Albert!"  
  
Singer and Meru nodded... until they realized how Shocked Lloyd now looked.  
  
"Omg..." And Meru held up the camcorder. "You weren't sober THEN- were you!!?? I was wondering why you'd go THAT far!"  
  
The Wingly just stared, and the laughter began anew.

*Fin*


	4. Lloyd and Albert are sexy. yeah! anyway....

Psycho-dragoonalysis!

Ramble #4: Pycho-dragoon therapy.  
By [Rap's][1], the raptor queen!

  
Rose, Lloyd and Albert: ".... This is going to SUCK."  
  
****  
  
Lloyd: So... you know? it's just like... I don't know what to do about it! I mean, I like her a whole lot... but then.. WINK comes along and it's just like..   
  
Psychotherapist: Um hmmm, yes, yes- I see.  
  
Lloyd: plus this OTHER guy... and he's supposedly SOOOO good looking which REALLY pisses me off because IM the hottest guy in LOD and EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW IT!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: And this upsets you, correct?  
  
Lloyd: Yeah!! because.., You know? And its like... well... YOU KNOW!!!??  
  
Psychotherapist: *drawing pictures of cheese logs on his notepad.* Yes, I understand. Of course. Please continue. *The therapist is sitting in a small chair behind Lloyd, who is laid out on a big fluffy couch in the room around them.*  
  
Lloyd: yeah.. Well... I dunno. That's basically why I've come to you. I don't know what to do!! I mean- I LIKE Wink and All... but Rose is... so deep and neat and HOT- you know!?!? I mean... Recently? At this place called fanfiction.net? People are constantly pairing us up in fanfics and it's kind of really helped out our relationship because we can get a feel for our own problems.. And then... well..  
  
Psychotherapist: Yes?   
  
Lloyd: Wink!!! I told her that I wasn't interested and it was all cool... but now she's hanging out my bedroom window at night and just STANDING there. Plus I get this weird phone calls and all... and she's like: "But Lloyd I loooovveeee youuuu!!!" And I'm like: NOOOO!!!! ya know!?  
  
Psychotherapist: Interesting. Do you feel threatened by this woman?  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!?  
  
Psychotherapist: I wasn't threatening your manhood. Just answer the question...  
  
Lloyd: I never said you were! What the hell!!??  
  
Psychotherapist: CONTINUE, Lloyd...  
  
Lloyd: oh- yeah.. Well... no- I guess not. But sometimes she calls Rose and threatens to beat her with plastic forks. That's kind of scary, you know?  
  
Psychotherapist: And you are living with this Rose?  
  
Lloyd: Yeah....  
  
Psychotherapist: And is your relationship a healthy one?  
  
Lloyd: Yeah!!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: BEYOND Sex.  
  
Lloyd: OH!! heh- yeah!! We get along really well!  
  
Psychotherapist: *draws some more cheese logs* Yes.... good, good... alright then. I think I've worked out the problem. Are you willing to listen to my advice?  
  
Lloyd: I didn't pay 120 bucks to say NO, doc.  
  
Psychotherapist: (CRAP! *looks at the cheese logs*) Well, first off, I say you should beat that Wink woman over the head and deposit her lifeless body outside an orphanage where she will be taken in and given appropriate care. Well... that or be eaten by cats.  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!!?? NOOO!!! I LIKE Wink!! She's cool!!  
  
Psychotherapist: Were you ever beaten as a child?  
  
Lloyd: um.... WHAT!? *tries to jump around to face the psychiatrist, but 2 Mafia guys pop out of small boxes on either side of the room and hold him down*   
  
All: .....  
  
Psychotherapist: your problem lay with Lavitz, doesn't it?  
  
Lloyd: *Stops struggling against the evil Mafia guys* Y... You know about.. L.. Lavitz!?!?  
  
Psychotherapist: indeed. The fanfiction author told me about him and your... interesting relationship.  
  
Lloyd: *curses Rap's* I AM NOT GAY!!  
  
Psychotherapist: I meant about the pokemon...  
  
*thunder crackles in the distance*  
  
Lloyd: please.. Don't... MENTION that...  
  
Psychotherapist: Ah- so this IS the root of your problem!!!  
  
Lloyd: no- its just ANOTHER problem!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: We shall see. Lavitz?  
  
*Lavitz pops out of a small box*   
  
Lavits: DUDE!!!  
  
Lloyd: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Must.. Resist... evil... temptation... to....!!!!  
  
Lavits: *takes out his pokemon deck* I got a new card, dude!  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!? Seriously!? DUDE!?  
  
Lavits: DUDE!!!  
  
Lloyd: DUUUUDEEE!! That is so SWEET!!!  
  
Lavits: ya man!! DUDE!!  
  
Lloyd: DUDE!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: That's quite enough!!! Release the rabid gerbils!!  
  
*Rabid gerbils come out from under the chairs and drag Lavitz into a nearby closet.*  
  
All: ....  
  
Psychotherapist: I see, yes.... hmmm... hmmm... *drawing more cheeselogs* This concludes our session for today. Please send in the next patient...  
  
Lloyd: *twitching helplessly*  
  
******************  
  
Albert: NOOOOOO!!!!!! *running around the room*  
  
Rose: Albert- STOP IT!!!  
  
Albert: NO!! NO NO NO!! I WILL NOT GO!! GET AWAY!! EVIL!! EVIL!!  
  
Rose: YOU NEED THERAPY MORE THEN ANY OF US!! *kicks him repeatedly until Albert falls to the floor and curls up into a ball*  
  
Meru: ....  
  
*Meru, Albert and Rose are all in the waiting room outside the Psychotherapists office. Rose is still kicking Albert- and Meru is simply eating the sample cheese logs from a tray nearby. They are awaiting Lloyd's return.*  
  
Rose: *leans down and pokes Albert* ... um.... Maybe I shouldn't have done that...  
  
Meru: *shrugs and then glances at Albert* Aww!! He's a little heap on the floor!! That's so CUTTTEE!!  


Albert: *shivering*   
  
Meru: awww!! And now he's all drawn up in a fetal position!! *points and giggles*  
  
Rose: .... yeah.... *pokes Albert again* Come on- im sorry, okay? But Meru is right!! Maybe this will help you!! IM going in aren't I? And My beautiful, manly, adorable, determined, gorgeous... *shakes her head and smiles* um... Wingly... Already went in!!  
  
Meru: .... *rolls eyes* Don't talk about Lloyd- you get all mushy and then you freak Albert out even MORE!!  
  
Albert: *slowly rocking back and forth in a nearby corner*  
  
Rose: ..... *looks at Albert- and then around the room* They don't have complementary straight jackets in here, do they?  
  
((The door suddenly clicks open, and out comes a traumatized Lloyd.))  
  
Rose: *SMILE* hey!!  
  
Lloyd: *looks completely past her and at Albert* YOU!!!! I AM SO MUCH SEXIER THEN YOU AND YOUR JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
Lloyd: *Rambling* DON'T YOU SEE, Rose!?!? HE'S EVIL!!! THEY ARE ALL EVIL!! I AM SEXIER THEN HIM AND I AM NOT A POKEMON FREAK AND LAVITZ IS SO NOT GOING TO CONTROL MY LIFE ANYMORE AND I AM GOING TO FEED WINK TO CATS!!!!  


Lavitz: now now.... *walks out of the office* no need to resort to profanity. ta ta! *prances off*  
  
All: ....  
  
Lloyd: NOOOOO!!!! *falls down on the floor and begins to twitch* NOOO!! NO!!!!! THE POKEMON!! THERE ON ME!!! I CANT GET THEM OFF!! OMG!!! OMG!! *rolling around* NOOOOO!!!!  
  
Meru: *runs up next to Rose, who is shaking Lloyd by the shoulders* Rose!! This is crazy!!! the Psychotherapist guy in there must be a real wacko!! Lets get Lloyd and Albert out of here before...  
  
((The door clicks open again, two Mafia guys come running out, grab Albert, and then run back in.))  
  
Rose: *looks up, and then glances at Alberts corner* OMG!!! NOO!!! WE CANT LET THEM TAKE HIM!!!  
  
Meru: *wails* HE"LL GET EVEN WORSE!!! *begins to kick at the door* Let him go!!! you hear me!!?!? *pounds on the door* BAHHH!!! BOOGENHAGEN!!!! *KICK* ooowww!!! *sniff* DIE Door! DIE!! *kicks again* ooowww!!  
  
Rose: *runs up to her* Dammit!!! *takes out her sword- and then suddenly an electric fence surrounds the entrance.*  
  
((Rose and Meru just stare, and then turn to look at Lloyd, who is still rolling around on the floor.))  
  
Meru: This is bad, ain't it?  
  
***********  
  
Mafia guys: *throw*  
  
Albert: GAHHHHHH!!!! *bounces off the couch and out a nearby window*  
  
Psychotherapist: .... *sigh* Well? Go get him...  
  
((five minutes later.))  
  
Mafia guys: *light toss*  
  
Albert: *bounces off the couch and onto the floor* ...... ow...  
  
Psychotherapist: now... Albert- is it? please take a seat on the couch. *Walks over* I'm going to show you these ink blots, and then you tell me what you see, okay?  
  
Albert: .... *crawls back onto the couch and hides under a pillow*  
  
Psychotherapist: Interesting. *Draws a cheeslog in his notepad and then holds up a card. Now, lets begin. What do you see?  
  
Albert: .... *blinks* NOOO!! OMG!! GET IT AWAY!! GET IT AWAY!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Mafia guy: *SLAP*  
  
Albert: .......  
  
Psychotherapist: .... yes, well... let's try this next one. This time, if it scares you.... tell me why, okay?  
  
Albert: *mini-nod* uh huh.  
  
Psychotherapist: *holds up a card*  
  
Albert: AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOOO!!!!!! OMG!!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: And your scared because....? *accidentally drops all his cards onto the floor* Oh dear, clumsy me, i- I....  
  
Albert: *SCREAM* AAAHHHGGGGGGAAHAHHHH!!!! *jumps up on top of a lamp*  
  
Mafia guys: *grab and throw*  
  
Albert: *bounces off the couch and out the window again*  
  
Psychotherapist: .... bob? Joe?  
  
Mafia guys: Boss?  
  
Psychotherapist: *slaps them*  
  
((five minutes later))  
  
Albert: *sitting on the couch again, while the therapist takes up his customary seat behind the couch and begins to talk*  
  
Psychotherapist: Now, tell me... what did you see?  
  
Albert: ... HER....  
  
Psychotherapist: Hmmm... hmmm.... yes.... and she is?  
  
Albert: .... HER ....  
  
Psychotherapist: yes, but WHO?  
  
Albert: The evil one!! The one that stalks my every move! With the glowing red eyes!!! HER!!!! *freaking out* HER!!! its HER!!! HErRRRR!!!!  
  
Mafia guys: *SLAP*  
  
Albert: *sniffs*  
  
Psychotherapist: .... You wouldn't be talking about... Rap's- would- *can't finish his sentence, as Albert throws himself to the floor and begins to convulse* I.. uh.. BOB!! JOE!!! MORPHINE!!! GET THE MORPHINE!!!  
  
Mafia guys: *tackle Albert with syringes*  
  
Albert: YEEEKKKK!!! DONT TOUCH MY @(#&$(@*#& HAIR YOU GIANT @#(&$@(*#&$ OAFS!!!!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: *watches as Albert throws the Mafia guys into the rabid gerbils closet and then wobbles back over to the couch.*  
  
Albert: ......  
  
Psychotherapist: .....( Note to self... do not touch hair....) *coughs* Okay- now... um.... hmmm... it seems as if we have identified your problem. Do you know the-  
  
Albert: you don't understand!! NO ONE understands!!! Fanfics.. the FANFICS.... and she rambles!! oh god! and... and I... *twitching* noooooo!!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: Albert?  
  
Albert: ......  
  
Psychotherapist: Look behind you.  
  
Albert: *turns to look back at the Psychotherapist.*  
  
Psychotherapist: *puts on a Rap's mask* BOOGA BOGGA!!!!!  
  
Albert: *jumps out the window*  
  
Psychotherapist: *draws another cheese log* interesting... interesting... *calls for his Mafia guys, who run out of the closet and then go off to fetch Albert again.*  
  
((Ten minutes later))  
  
Psychotherapist: Albert? You okay?  
  
Albert: *shaking uncontrollably*  
  
Psychotherapist: Good. Look behind you once more.  
  
Albert: *looks behind him*  
  
Psychotherapist: *puts on a Dee mask* BOOGENHAGEN!!!  
  
Albert: *jumps out the window again*  
  
((The Mafia guys are already going to get him. Six minutes later, they return.))  
  
Psychotherapist: Good. Albert? look behind you...  
  
Albert: N.. no...!!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: I PROMISE I won't do the booga booga thing again.  
  
Albert: O.. or... th..e... the boogenh..h... hagen thing?!  
  
Psychotherapist: promise.  
  
Albert: *looks behind him*  
  
Psychotherapist: *Puts on a Sailor Jupiter mask* CATNIP!!!!  
  
Mafia guys: *close the window- and Albert bounces off it and back onto the couch*  
  
Albert: *SLAM* OOOWWW!!! GODDAMN YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!!! *gets up on the couch and starts to scream aloud.* YOUR ALL A BUNCH OF EVIL FREAKS AND I WILL FEED YOU TO MY PET MOOSE!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: *coughs* Release the gerbils again!!  
  
Gerbils: *lunge for Albert*  
  
Albert: TOASTY GERBIL MARSHMELLOWS!!! *Kick*  
  
Psychotherapist: What? *watches as Albert runs under the couch.* What the hell!?!?  
  
???: Squeak!! SQUEAK!!! Sque.. EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKkkkkkkkk...............  
  
All: .....  
  
Albert: *comes out from under the couch and coughs* Now....  
  
Psychotherapist: What.. WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ARMY OF GERBILS!!????  
  
Albert: *sadistic grin* Oh? Gerbils? *takes out a tray of gerbil heads from behind his back and smiles* GERBILLSSS!!!!!!  
  
Mafia guys: *jump out the window- right through the glass*  
  
Psychotherapist: NOOOOO!!!! YOU (#@&$(@*&# MONSTER!!!! how could you!?!??   
  
Albert: MONSTER!? *I* am the MONSTER!??! MWHAHHA!! HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHH!!!!!!! *laughs* I am a KING and I can do whatever I WANT! *throws the gerbils heads at him* YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH!!!  
  
Psychotherapist: ...... AAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *falls to the floor in slow motion* nnnnoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
((at that moment, Rose and Meru come running into the room. How'd they get by the electric fence and why didn't they get in when the Mafia guys kept running out? Who knows!))  
  
Rose: ALBERT!!! put the gerbil heads DOWN....  
  
MEru: Technically he already threw them....  
  
Lloyd: *runs in and points at Albert* YOU!!!  
  
Rose: GAHH!! he';s awake again!!  
  
Lloyd: I AM SO MUCH SEXIER THEN YOU!!  
  
Albert: *tosses his hair behind one shoulder and puts a mega-bishounen smile on his face that causes a random group of woman outside to swoon and go unconscious*  
  
Lloyd: .....  
  
Albert: SEXIER THEN ME!!??!? I AM A SEX GOD! *takes a gerbil head and throws it at Lloyd* HHAHAHAHHHH!!!!  
  
Lloyd: ..... *gerbil head bounces off his chest.* mkay... shut me up....  
  
Rose: Does anyone HONESTLY care who is more sexy!? And why the HELL Are we even talking about this!!???  
  
Lloyd and Albert: *both put on mega-bishounen smiles*  
  
Rose and Meru: *fall over*  
  
Albert: *jumps up on the couch and begins to preach about gerbils. The Psychotherapist, meanwhile, has managed to crawl outside.*  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!? Quickly my smurfs- KILL him!  
  
*smurfs flow out of Lloyds pockets and eat the Psychotherapist alive*  
  
((At This point, Rap's, who has overseen all this carnage, is getting a little freaked out. Afterall- Lloyd has a river of smurfs in his pocket and Albert declared himself a sex god. yeah- time to stop this....))  
  
Rap's: *pops up* HIYA guys!  
  
Albert and Lloyd: .....  
  
Rap's; Miss me!?  
  
Albert and lloyd: *fall on the floor and begin convulsing*  
  
Rap's: *dusts claws together* I ROCK!!! And now, with everyone either unconscious or dead... it's time to end this fanfic!!! *dances around, grabs Albert by his cape, and drags him over to the couch*  
  
*SLAP*  
  
Albert: ..... baka.... _  
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.  
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: NO!  
  
Rap's: Love me!?  
  
Albert: What part of N and O did you NOT understand!!!??  
  
Rap's: .......  
  
Albert: .......  
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: no.   
  
Rap's: Luv me?  
  
Albert: NO!   
  
----------  
  
And thus, yet again, I have proven my insanity. *peace sign*  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   [1]: mailto:RaptorJNB@aol.com



	5. Lover Boyz and the DUDE potion! ^_^

Lover boyz and the DUDE potion.

LOD: The Book of Rambles!  
Ramble #5: "Lover Boyz and the DUDE potion!"  
Written by Rap's ([RaptorJNB@aol.com][1])  


Just so you guys know.... the next ramble im gonna be writing (#6) will feature Rose Angel, Bri, Sailor Jupiter, P-Chan Princess, and the infamous Dee (All psycho ramble authors like myself.) I hope you guys don't mind! Sorry i can't write for more, but too many characters get confusing. As for THIS ramble...  
  
No, I don't know what the hell I was on. ^_^  
  
*****  
  
Rap's: Hrmmm.... *chinks a pencil against her Lime green Ibook laptop and scowls.* Very interesting *leans back in a teeny wooden chair* Damn... *blinks* Albert-sama.... ain't this weird!?  
  
Albert: .... *is seated in a chair next to her, dozing*  
  
Rap's: *looks at him*  
  
Albert: ZZZzzzzzz.... ZZZzzzzzz.....  
  
Rap's: ..... ALBERT!  
  
Albert: HWAGGHH!!! What!?!?!? WHAT!?   
  
Rap's: MWHAHHA!!!!!  
  
Albert: .....   
  
Rap's: Not much!! I just need to you to look at this for me! *grabs his ponytail and slams his head down on the laptop* What do you see!?!?  
  
Albert: .... oh... ow.... nose.... broken....  
  
Rap's: *blinks.* Oh... so THAT'S where all that blood is coming from. uh... sorry?  
  
Albert: *whimpers*  
  
Rap's: *puts a band-aid on his nose and then smacks his head into the table again* Well!?!?  
  
Albert: ow....  
  
Rap's: COME ON DAMNIT!!  
  
Albert: *pushes himself upwards and winces at the data displayed on the laptop* it's... a... a table. a chart about something concerning Lavitz and Llo-  
  
Rap's: EXACTLY!! WMHAHAHH!!!  
  
Albert: ..... *whimpers again*  
  
Rap's: you see, every time they encounter one another both embark on a string of; "DUDE! SWEET! COOL! AWESOME!!!" and the like. I'm trying to figure out WHY this is... and put an end to it once and for all!! Lloyd and Lavitz should NOT act like male ditz's! *points to the screen* And as you can see... these occurrences are becoming more and more frequent!!!  
  
Albert: ..... And this requires your waking me up AND breaking my nose?!  
  
Rap': eh... *heals him quickly* OF COURSE it does!! Besides, I wanna tell you now about my AMAZING PLAN TO CORRECT THIS MALE DITZ SYNDROME!!!!  
  
Albert: ....  
  
Rap's: I present to you.... *takes out a funky looking vial from her side pocket: THE DUDE POTION....  
  
*Holy music plays*  
  
Albert: it resembles pus, Rap's.  


Rap's: .... Don't interrupt the holy music. *Eyes glow red*   
  
Albert: .....  
  
*Holy music finishes playing*  
  
Rap's: Now... I have but to add a few more chemicals and it should work perfectly, if my calculations have been correct!!!  
  
Albert: you tried to CALCULATE something!?  
  
Rap's: .... YEAH!!! I spent ALL DAMNED NIGHT practicing my addition and subtraction before I made it, so HAH!   
  
Albert: (Oh... My.... GOD...)  
  
Rap's: DAMNIT!! I READ THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE!!!  
  
Albert: .....  
  
Rap's; Oh whatever!! you'll see!! Now... quickly... TO MY SECRET LAB!!!!   
  
Albert: you dont HAVE a secret lab Rap's....  
  
Rap's: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL MY CLOSET!?!?!?  
  
Albert: A closet.  
  
Rap's: Well if your going to be a wise-ass I just won't let you SEE IT!!  
  
Albert: And thats a bad thing... how?  
  
Rap's: SHUT UP!!! *drags him over to her closet* Now... BEHOLD!!! THINE SECRET LAB!! *opens the closet door and sits on a single bucket inside.* MWHAHAHAHH!!  
  
Albert: .....  
  
Rap's: Well? GET IN!! *is mixing assorted nasty looking items into the DUDE potion.*  
  
Albert: .... Rap's- there is hardly enough room in there for YOU. We'd be squashed together!  
  
Rap's: *grins up at him evilly* I know.... *bats eyes* Now get IN here...   
  
Albert: ..... *sweatdrop*  
  
((( A few hours pass...... )))  
  
********  
  
Lloyd: Eh.. Rose?  
  
Rose: Babe?  
  
Lloyd: Why DID Rap's invite us to her castle just so she could have us wait in a little room for three hours!? I still don't understand why we just didn't LEAVE after the first-  
  
Rose: You mean BESIDES the fact that she has giant mutant gerbils patrolling the lawn outside to prevent our escape?  
  
Lloyd: ..... *looks out a nearby window*  
  
Rabid Mutant Gerbil: *Eyeing him through the glass.*   
  
Lloyd: ......   
  
Rose: Like I was saying. *Coughs* In any case... She'll have to make an appearance at SOME point, right?  
  
Lloyd: yeah. I guess so. *Growls* But she's making us waste valuable make-out time!!!  
  
Rose: *eye twitch* What the HELL do you think we just DID for the past-!!!  
  
Lloyd: SHHH!! *points at the drooling rabid gerbil in the window* Do you want it to hear?!?!  
  
Rose: .....   
  
Lloyd: .....  
  
Rose: It's a GERBIL, Lloyd. It's not like it has a tape recorder and is documenting our conversation.  
  
Gerbil: *clicks off a tape recorder and continues staring at them through the window glass*  
  
Rose: ....  
  
Lloyd: ....  
  
Rose: .....  
  
Lloyd: Well- Could be worse. It could have had a camcorder and filmed us when we-  
  
Gerbil: *waves a camcorder*  
  
Lloyd: @#($^@*&# BASTARD!!!!  
  
Lavitz; *Suddenly busts through the door* MWHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Rose and Lloyd: .....  
  
Lavitz: *coughs* yeah. Um. Sorry. uh- I got an invitation to be here. So.... Hiya everybody!!  
  
Lloyd: DUDE! How did you get past the Gerbils!?  
  
Lavitz: DUDE! I DIDN'T, MAN! *turns around to reveal a gerbil attached to his ass* These fangs HURT, Dude!!!!  
  
Rose: OH SHUT THE HELL UP!! I DO *NOT* WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS!!! Why is it that whenever you two end up together you both *rips the evil gerbil off Lavitz and tosses it out a window* End up acting like-  
  
Lloyd: DUDE!! SHE THREW THE GERBIL!  
  
Lavitz: DUDE!! THAT WAS SO SWEET!!!  
  
Lloyd: SERIOUSLY!? DUDE?!?!?!  
  
Lavitz: SERIOUSLY!!!!  
  
Lloyd and Lavitz: *chest thump*  
  
Rose: OH MY @#$&(@#*& GOD!!!!  
  
????" MWHAHAHAHHHHHAHAHHAH  
  
All: .....  
  
Rap's: *walks into the room* HELLO my unwilling test subjects!!! *eyes lloyd and Lavitz* MWHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Albert: *wanders in after her, looking traumatized*  
  
Rose: *blinks* Oh no.... Albert.... she dragged you into the closet again...  
  
Albert: *Whimpers*  
  
Rose: *hugs Albert* Poor thing!  
  
Rap's: *glares at Rose* ANYWAYS... *takes out the DUDE POTION she had been working on earlier.* THIS IS IT!!! I INVITED YOU HERE SO THE BOTH OF YOU COULD BE SPRAYED WITH THIS VILE SUBSTANCE, AND IN TURN STOP ACTING LIKE MALE DITZ'S!!!!  
  
Rose: ... WOW!?!!!! really!?!?  
  
Albert: *grabs her shoulders* no!! You Don't understand!!! She did calculations!!!  
  
Rose: oh my GOD... *swings around in an attempt to stop Rap's, but it's to late. She has already sprayed Lavitz and Lloyd with the substance.*  
  
Lavitz and Lloyd: DUDE!?!?  
  
Rap's: MWHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
Lavitz: *coughs* Dude this SUCKITH!! I .. can't... BREATHE dude!!  
  
Lloyd: OH MAN! This is... Dude.. I...   
  
Both: *fall on the ground twitching*  
  
Rap's: .......  
  
All: ......  
  
Rap's: *takes out a notepad and writes in it quickly* Note to self. Always test substance on Albert first.  
  
*Dart walks in*  
  
All: .....  
  
Rose: And you are here.. why!?!?  
  
Dart: *watches Lloyd and Lavitz convulse* uh... I was on the Internet back in Seles and some Gerbils sent me this porn video over email.  


All: ....  
  
Dart: HEYY!!!! its not like I WATCHED it!!! I just wanted to know why Lloyd and Rose were at Raptors castle!!!  
  
Lloyd: ...... *stops convulsing and sweatdrops*  
  
Rose: ..... HOW THE HELL would you KNOW we were here!?!?  
  
Gerbils: *Are on a computer outside with a camcorder plugged into it*   
  
Dart: Um....  
  
Lloyd: *jumps up and starts waving his fists at the Gerbils* YOU PERVERTED LITTLE BASTARDS!!!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
Gerbils: *chitter and throw a Richard simmons booklet at Lloyd*  
  
Lloyd: ....  
  
Albert: ..... what the HELL is going on!?!?? What video- and why did DART watch it!?!?  
  
Dart: I didn't watch it!!!  
  
Rose: *advancing on him* then HOW did you KNOW....  
  
Dart: *pales* I... um...  
  
Rap's: WHATEVER!!!!!!!! *waving her arms* We have a SITUATION here people!!!   
  
Lavitz: *gets up* Not anymore we don't! Right dude!?!?  
  
Lloyd: *now oblivious to everyone in the room once again* YEAH!! DUDE!!!  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Rap's: *scowls* I DONT Understand!! it should have worked!!! *sobs* Yet again!! FAILURE!!! *throws the vial to the floor* FAILURE!!! FAILU.... um...  
  
Dude Potion: *breaks*  
  
Insert very loud explosion here.   
  
*********  
  
((A hour or so later ))  
  
Rap's: oooOOOoooo.... meee hheeeeaaaddd......  
  
Rose: *is slowly beginning to get up from the ground.* Ohhhhh god... I HATE you, Rap's...  
  
Rap's: *rolls over to her back and sneezes.* heheeh!!! yeah, i know. Gotta find da' boyzzz.... *SNEEZE*  
  
Albert: *looks down at Rap's with a very odd grin*  
  
Rap's; *blinks at him* Um... Hiya Albert! Your up already!?!? And here I thought the explosion would have utterly ripped you limb from beautiful limb!!!  
  
Albert: *grins* of course not, Rap's! heh! *grabs her by both arms and hauls her upwards* ^_^ How you doing, angel?  
  
Rap's: ...... *stares at Albert, freaked out*  
  
Rose: *also staring at Albert*   
  
All: .....  
  
Rose: What... the... hell?  
  
Albert: *looks over at Rose and winks* Heya babe- your up too?  
  
Rap's and Rose: ......  
  
Rap's: .... *whimpers* R..Rose...  
  
Rose: .... y...y...yeah?  
  
Rap's: Why'd he call me 'Angel?' and WHY is he smiling... like...THAT....  


Both: *look at the stain on the floor where the DUDE potion fell*  
  
Rap's: eh.. heh? Maybe me made some bad calculations?  
  
Rose: ..... *tries to punch Rap's, but Lloyd suddenly grabs her from behind with kisses* WHAHA!!?!??  
  
Lloyd: Rosie!!!! ^_^  
  
Dart and Lavitz: *wake up*  
  
Rap's and Rose: ....!?!!!!  
  
Dart: huh? *looks at Lavitz* LAVITZ!!!  
  
Lavitz: *looks at Dart* DART!!!!  
  
Lavitz and Dart: *Hug*  
  
Rose: *jabs a foot at the potion* RAPS!!! GODDAMNIT!! WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT STUFF!?!?!??  
  
Rap's: .... um... some lemon juice.. Some sausage... and.. uh... love potion....  
  
Rose: lemon juice, sausage and love potion!?!? THAT WAS YOUR BIG CALCULATION!!!!!???  
  
Rap's: Well the love potion was red and I wanted the DUDE potion to look pretty!!!!!!  
  
Rose: YOU UTTER AND COMPLETE SICK TWISTED FREAK OF NATURE I AM GOING TO SLOWLY CUT YOU INTO A BAZZILION MILLION PIECES OF RAW ROTTING FLESH AND SEND YOUR DECAYING BODY TO THE GERBIL FARM IN TEXAS!!!!  
  
Rap's: *coughs* Well, no need to get so VIOLENT.... *Albert suddenly picks her up* iiiiEEEEEEeeee!!!! *blinks at him* eh.. heh???  
  
Albert: What!? You can chase me and I can't pick up a girl as cute as you!?  
  
Rap's: ....... *screams, scared as hell.* NO!!!!!! *IM* THE ONE THAT CHASES AND FREAKS _YOU_ OUT!! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!!!  
  
Lloyd: MWHAH!!! *points at the gerbils outside* HEY!!! BRING THAT CAMCORDER BACK OVER HERE!!!!  
  
Rose and Rap's; AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *break free of the men around them and run screeching out the door* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rose: *halfway down the hall, she stops*  
  
Rap's: *growls* What the HELL are you stopping for!?!? I've turned our bishies into lovey dovey boys!!! *shaking* Albert called me HIS Angel... omg.. omg.... OMG... *freaking out* This is so wrong!!!!  
  
Rose: yeah.. but.... I absolutely love Lloyd; you absolutely love Albert.... and we both just ran out of a room full of gorgeous men. Minus whatever in the heck Dart and Lavitz are doing...  
  
Rap's: .... Oh yeah. Huh. I think Dart and Lavitz just got stuck with each other by default... don't worry; they'll come around soon enough I guess. Should sate those weird Lavitz/dart yaoi fans in the meantime though...  
  
Rose: .... To bad your potion didn't REALLY end the dude thing..  
  
Rap's: .... Yeah....  
  
Rose: ......  
  
Rap's: ......  
  
Rose: First one back there gets to glomp Albert.  
  
Rap's: YOUR ON!!!  
  
  
*******  
  
THE END!!!!  
  
*******   
  
BAHAHAHHH!!!!!! What do you EXPECT for something written at 3 in the morning!?!?!?!? I have no brain!! I have no life!!! AND I LOVE BISHOUNEN!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
FEAR ME!!!!   
  
  
  


   [1]: mailto:RaptorJNB@aol.com



	6. AUTHOR MADNESS!

LOD: The Book of Rambles  
Ramble 6: 'SHANA THE DESTROYER'

MWHAHAHHH!!! Okay all!! I hope you enjoy this... ^_^ Bri, Sailor Jupiter, Rose Angel, P-chan, and Dee are all other authors who love to ramble. They ain't like original characters or anything- got that!? I've included them because... it's fun too! ^_^  
  
Let the Insanity begin! This ramble is based upon Shana's attempts to take over the world...  
  
MWHAHAHH!!!! Guess who has to stop her!?  
  
***  
  
*Shana is sitting on a throne of bones in the middle of her living room in Seles. Around her, evil minions of Darkness bow and light candles in her worship. Beside Shana's throne, general Rinoa (FF8) Stands silently. After all, A bimbo evil queen shall also harbor bimbo evil minions.*  
  
Shana: OUR TIME HAS COME!!!  
  
Minions: Yes our dark queen!!!! yes!! *bow and chant*  
  
Shana: No longer shall evil authors dare to insult me or my bimbo kind ever again! My ugly henchmen of doom... GO FORTH!!! Bring me these horrible rambling beasts! We shall cage them for all eternity, so our race is free to spread wimp-female lead stereotypes and cute language throughout all of Endiness!! WE SHALL RULE THE EARTH!!!  
  
All: *cheer* SH-AN-A!!! SH-AN-A!!!!!  
  
Shana: Indeed... mwhahah!!!  
  
Rinoa: I shall assemble the dark legions! We leave in five minutes!!  
  
Shana: DOUBLE indeed!! MWHAHAAHH!!!  
  
Dart: *wanders in, yawning* Uh.... hey- some people are trying to sleep, you know!?!?  
  
Dark Minions: *turn to look at Dart*  
  
Dart: .... *looks at Shana on her throne of skulls in their living room*  
  
Shana: .....  
  
Dart: ....  
  
Dark Minions: ....  
  
Dart: Did I.... Come at a bad time?  
  
Shana: .... HANG HIM!!!!  
  
Dart: O.o!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
General Rinoa: *gets a giant whip*  
  
Dart: *scream*  
  
******   
  
((( Meanwhile, on Fanfiction.net.... )))  
  
Rap's: .... *aims a bowling ball* Okay... I SO got it this time...  
  
P-chan: But won't it hurt Albert very very badly when it connects with his head and shatters his skull like it did those poor old people?  
  
Rap's: ....  
  
P-chan: ....  
  
Old people: *twitching on the ground below*  
  
Rap's: Maybe?  


P-chan: *shrugs* HEY!!! THERE HE IS!! *points at Albert, who is walking under the very suspicious looking evil-author-ramble hideout.*  
  
Albert: *blinks and reads a nearby sign*  
  
Sign: "THIS IS NOT AN EVIL AUTHOR RAMBLE HIDEOUT."  
  
Albert: *looks up at the tree-house like hideout*  
  
Rap's: DUCK!!! *P-chan and Rap's hide*  
  
Albert: .... You two are really... REALLY pathetic.  
  
Rap's: AM NOT!!!!! *jumps up and points at him, then blinks* um.... but im NOT here and you did NOT see me! *hides again*  
  
Albert: Rap's?  
  
P-chan: Didn't you hear her!?!? We are NOT here!!!!! Now walk slowly under our evil hideout!  
  
Albert: ..... You aren't trying to drop a bowling ball on me again, are you?  
  
Rap's and P-chan: *from inside the hideout* _GASP_  
  
P-chan: *whispers* How'd he KNOW!?!??  
  
Rap's; *freaked out* I have no idea!! We've only tried this exact same thing about fifty times before!! Surely he can't know!!!!   
  
P-chan: ... I guess he's just really really smart. *blinks* Wow...  
  
Rap's: .... Dammit.... Plan B?  
  
P-chan: *Unsheathes her tickle-feather of death* yeah!! LETS JUMP HIM!!!!  
  
Both: MWHAHAHAHH!!!  
  
Albert: ..... *listens, shrugs, and is about to walk away when Lloyd tackles him head on*  
  
Lloyd: OMGYOUGOTTASAVEMEICANTGETAWAYANDTHEYWONTLEAVEME  
ALONEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Albert: .... Lloyd?  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!?!!???  
  
Albert: Get off of me, will you?  
  
Lloyd: *is attached to Albert's head*  
  
Albert: ....  
  
Lloyd: ..... heh... er... *climbs down and takes deep gasping breaths.*  
  
Albert: Now... whatever is the matter?!!  
  
Lloyd: *eyes get all big* she... they.... big... BIG truck....  
  
Albert: What?  
  
Bri: *walks over to them* Hi guys! I'm looking for Rap's n' P-chan. Theya round!? I wanted to deliver SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D  
  
Meru: *pops up* SUGAR!!!!!!  
  
All: .....  
  
*From above, Rap's and P-chan run around frantically*  
  
Rap's: NOW!! NOW!! DROP IT NOW!!! HE MOVED UNDER THE TREE!!!  
  
P-chan: *disgards her feather a moment and drops the bowling ball.*  
  
Insert silence here.   
  
Rap's: ... I think you got him!!!! *both look over the railing of their hideout and blink*  
  
Bri: *twitching*  
  
P-chan: .......  


Rap's: ..... um...  
  
Meru: *pokes Bri with a stick* hello?  


Bri: Chocolate bunny-mellows! tee he hee!!  
  
All: ....  
  
Lloyd: ... ANYWAYS.... *grabs Albert* YAGOTTASAVEME!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Albert: .... from WHAT!?!??  
  
*Suddenly, the ground begins to shake, and Lloyd runs behind the base of Raptor's hideout cringing in terror. Meru and Albert flail for balance, and P'chan starts randomly dancing. Heavy metal music begins to blare from all directions of the area*  
  
All: .....  
  
Rap's; the hell!?!? Whats going on!!!??? *flails and falls off the hideout* MWHHHAHAHA!! -smack- MWHAHAHAHAh!!!!!  
  
Albert: Pulls Rap's up as the ground stops shaking* ..... What in the... ?  


Lloyd: *creeps out into the open* i... i... is it... is it gone?  
  
P-chan: *strains to hear* I think so.... whatever it was...  
  
Albert: .....  
  
Bri: .... *twitches*  
  
Meru: ..... okay!! everything is happy now!  
  
Lloyd: *begins to calm down* .... yeah! I guess your right  
  
*Giant 4 door Hummer vehicle suddenly crashes through a random brick wall and starts chasing Lloyd*  
  
All: ....  
  
Lloyd: NNOOO!!!!!!!! *running for his life*  
  
RA: MWAHAHAHAHHA!!!! *driving the hummer* LLOYD!! MY LITTLE WINGLY!!!! *coughs* nope... he's just not slowing down... Dee?  
  
Dee: *wearing a giant army hat* GWA!!!  
  
RA: ....  
  
Dee: ....  
  
RA: READY THE HARPOON NET!!!  
  
Dee: *jumps into the back of the Hummer and loads up a big-ass gun with the harpoon net*  
  
*Safari music begins to play*  
  
Lloyd: *running in slow motion* NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooo.......!!!!!  
  
RA: FIRE!!!!!!  
  
Dee: MWHAHAH!! GIANT HARPOON OF DEATH--- BOMBS AWAY!!!!  
  
*hummer skids and slides as the giant gun fires. Lloyd is suddenly covered in a thick mesh net and falls to the ground entangled*  
  
Lloyd: *twitching*  
  
Dee: WOOOOOOO HOOOOO!!!! WHO IS A GODDESS!?!?! *points at herself* OH YEAH!!!!!!!  
  
RA: *stops the Hummer and gets out* MWHAHAHHAHAHH!!!! *coughs* BURN!!!  
  
All: .... *clap*  
  
RA and Dee: *bowing*  
  
Rap's: *runs up to them* MWHAHAH!!! Rose Angel!! Dee!! Hiya!! Did you come to help me and P-chan drop a bowling ball on Alberts head!?!?!?  
  
Albert... SO!!! that IS what you were up too!!!!! *points at them* AH HAH!!! WMAHAHH!!!!  
  
All: ....  
  
RA: Actually, we were chasing after Lloyd. He is our huggle prey.  
  
Dee: *nod nod nod* I have even perfected a special art of 'pouncing' in order to render him weak and submissive in my grasp!!  
  
Rap's; *eyes get all big* ooooo.... Can you show me how!??!  
  
P-chan: yeah!! ME TOO!! *gives Albert a weird smile*  
  
Albert: ..... um?  
  
Dee: welll.... not exactly. you see, it didn't work so well.  
  
All girls: *sigh dejectedly*  
  
Dee: BUT! me and RA just made up for that by getting a Humemr and running him down. It works just as well, cep't you get to fire big guns.  
  
Rap's; AH!! i see!! Albert? Start running in that direction. *points* I will then chase you with the Hummer. 'Kay?  
  
Albert: ... Don't I get a say in this?  
  
All: *laughing*  
  
Albert: ...... *sniff*  
  
P-chan: You COULD just use a feather like i do!!! *unsheathes the tickle-feather of death again* Economy size bishounen control. Oh yeah!  
  
Rap's: .... yea... but then I'd be being gentle with him and all...  
  
All: *think about that*  
  
RA: I just can't see it. Who votes to chase Albert with the Hummer?  
  
All: *raise hands*  
  
Albert: ..... _  
  
Dee: NO NO NO!!! WAIT!! *Points at Lloyd* We haven't glomped him yet!!!!  
  
Lloyd: *is trying to crawl away*  
  
RA: ....   
  
Dee: ....  


Both: OH NO YOU DONT!!! *jump at Lloyd*  
  
Lloyd: *screaming*  
  
All: ......  
  
Bri: *having finally come around, he now gets up and waves his arms* HEY!!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!! *sniffs* I need a dramatic entrance too!! Like in a Hummer- but NOT in a Hummer!  
  
Meru: .... *throws down her stick* I wasn't done poking you!!  
  
Bri; .....  
  
Meru: ....  
  
Bri: COME!!! I shall Dress up in a stay-puff marshmallow man costume and RULE THE WORLD!! WMHAHAHAH!!  
  
Jupiter: *falls from the sky, wearing a stay-puff marshmallow man costume*  
  
All: ....  
  
Bri: ..... Dammit....  
  
Meru: *pokes Bri*  
  
Jupiter: HI EVERYONE!! SORRY IM LATE!! *coughs* but, i have a very urgent message for us all!!! *scary music plays*  
  
Rap's: .... you may wanna wait a few minutes... RA and Dee aren't done with lloyd yet.  
  
Jupiter: ... oh.... okay!  
  
Dee and RA: *form a cloud around Lloyd and continue to glomp him*  
  
Lloyd: *arms and legs flail*  
  
All: .....  
  
Four hours pass   
  
Jupiter: *aiming a bowling ball*  
  
Rap's: Thats right!! A little more!!!!  
  
P-chan: OH!! OH!! DROP IT NOW!!!!!!  
  
Albert: *side steps, and looks up at Raptor's hide out* By the gods... this is the sixth damned time. your NOT going to hit me already...  
  
Jupiter: *shakes a fist at him* THATS WHAT YOU THINK, MISTER!!!!  
  
Albert: .....  
  
Bri: Hey!! Didn't Jupiter have an important message for us all!?!?  
  
Jupiter: *points at RA and Dee* They still ain't done....  
  
All: ....  
  
Another four hours pass   
  
LLoyd: .... oh.... GODS... have..... MERCY......  
  
*Lloyd is curled up in a fetal position with Rose angel and Dee runing around him in some freakish indian style dance*  
  
RA: HO dilly dilly dilly ho dilly ho ho dilly dilly.....  
  
Dee:!? That's an Indian chant?  
  
RA: No- that is the BURN chant of Dilandu. Ho dilly dilly dilly ho ho dilly ho-  
  
Lloyd: YOUR GOING TO BURN ME?!??!??  
  
RA: .... Now WHY would I burn your sexy self?  
  
Rap's: *calls out from the hideout* DAMN RIGHT!!!! And why are we STILL trying to drop a bowling ball on Albert's sexy self?  
  
Jupiter: *eating a sandwich* Technically we're not anymore. P-chan got out her tickle feather and is chasing him around the base of this tree house.  
  
Rap's: IT IS NOT A TREE HOUSE!!! IT IS AN EVIL HIDEOUT!!!!  
  
Jupiter: .... I like muffins.  
  
Rap's: ... me to!! AHAHAHAHH!!!!!  
  
P-chan: *from below* FEAR ME AND MY TICKLE FEATHER OF DEATH!!!!!!!!  
  
Bri: ... did you notice we ALL seem to have some sort of death weapons? *listens to Albert scream* Broom of death, tickle feather of death, spatula of death, poking stick of death....  
  
Jupiter: or doom! dont forget doom!  
  
Meru: AHAHAHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHAH!!!!! *poke poke poke*  
  
Bri: @_@?!?  
  
Jupiter: ... OH!! Hey!!!  
  
*Everyone looks to Jupiter whom is now pointing in a random direction rapidly.*  
  
Jupiter: - THATS What I was going to tell you all about!!  
  
Albert: ... What? *looks* .... Oh, you mean that very large cloud of dust with random legions of warriors charging our way? *peers* ... Is that Shana on a throne of skulls?  
  
Bri: .... *peers too* .... yes?  
  
RA: ...? *squeezes Lloyd* ..... And is that Dart tied to the front of a stake being slung around like a baseball bat by Rinoa of FF8?  
  
P-chan: ... er.... *blinks* .... yeah?  
  
Rap's: ...... What do you suppose they be doin'?  
  
Meru: ...... Can I have a muffin?  
  
Dee: *is busy stocking up on bombs* - Well, I don't care WHAT they be doin'...  
  
all: ...... *watch Shana and her evil minions swing around various weapons of death as they roar over the terrain, flailing and screaming war cries as they go. They are getting closer. And closer. And are now lighting torches... nevermind the assortment of flaming pumpkins and machine-gun wielding bunnies in pink frills that march behind them.*  
  
Lloyd: ..... You sure we shouldn't be a *little* worried, here...?  
  
Jupiter; ^_^ yeah, I mean, afterall- I came here to tell you guys that they've come to DESTROY us and all...  
  
Albert: ..... That won't be necessary.  
  
All: ???  
  
Albert: .... What? *looks at the group* - Me? Worried? Why would I be?  
  
Rap's: .... *looks back over the previous chapters of the Book of Rambles* .... is that a trick question?  
  
Albert: *sighs and folds his arms.* - Everytime something freaky happens, you authors ALWAYS create something JUST as freaky to save the day. What will it be THIS time, eh? MIGHT I ask? Giant ferrets? Talking taco's?  
  
Dee: *writes that one down* ^_^  
  
Albert: ........  
  
RA: ...... Actually, he's right you know...   
  
P-chan: ..... *nibbles on feather* ..... About the talking taco's?  
  
Meru: - NOPE!! ^_^ About Kongol's rabid twin brother Kongoul that has been fed nothing but pixie sticks for 18 years running and has been trapped inside the trunk of RA's Hummer for the past month in case something like this came up!  
  
All: .........  
  
Bri: .... OOOOOOOoooooHhhhhhhhhhh!!!!  
  
Rap's: ^_^ COOOOOLLLLLL!!!  
  
Albert: ...... *EYE-TWITCH* ... SO then.... shall we unleash... Kongoul...?  
  
Lloyd: *is setting the Hummer on Fire* - MWHAHhahahhahHAHAHAHAH!!!!  
  
RA: - BAD LLOYD! *smack*  
  
Random Bagel: *bursts into flames*  
  
Lloyd: ...... *tear*  
  
*Meanwhile... Shana's army continues to edge closer.*  
  
Shana: ..... DAMNIT!!!! THEY ARE ONLY A FEW METERS AWAY- JUMP THEM!!  
  
Rinoa: - im sorry my dark lordess, but although we should have been upon them hours ago their incredible ability to talk and stall our movement inhibits us!!! *CRY*  
  
Shana: BAHHHHH!!! PREPARE TO DIE- YOU FOOLS!!! *moving like a mila-inch at a time* .... gggwaaaaarrrrr----!!!!!!! *EYES FLAME*  
  
Thousands of minions: SH-A-NA!!! SH-A-NA!!! SH-A-NA!!!!!!!!!!!! *chant*  
  
Albert: ..... *walks by Shana towards the Hummer and unlocks the trunk*  
  
Kongoul: *falls out*  
  
Lloyd: .....  
  
RA: ........  
  
Bri: .......  
  
Jupiter: ........  
  
P-chan: ...........  
  
Albert/Meru/Lloyd: ........  
  
Kongoul: .... BwEH ehhe... HEEheheh........  
  
Meru: .... Dude. is that normal?  
  
RA: .... I think this is where we all slowly EDGE AWAY....  
  
all: .... *slowly edge away*  
  
Jupiter: ..... isn't he suppose to attack now?  
  
Kongoul: *googly eyes*  
  
Rap': ....... hmmm.... *thinks, looking at the big Lug* ..... I KNOW!!! *DANCES* KONGOUL!!! LOOKY!!! - *points to Shana* - BIG TWINKIE!!!!!  
  
Shana: @_@!?!?!??!!?!  
  
Kongoul: - TWINKIE!!!! ME LOVE!!!! *gets up* - WBHAHAHH!!!! *stompy stompy stompy* .... *eats Shana's head* ......  
  
Rinoa: .....  
  
Evil minions: ......  
  
Albert: ...... Is it just me- or was that very.... anti-climatic?  
  
*Note: Shana suddenly calls upon her evil bimbo powers and somehow manages to become about as large as a skyscraper. All stare*  
  
Shana: *in one of those Darth Vader voices* - MWHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!! NOW YOU SHALL PAY FOR DEFYING ME!!   
  
Dart: *accidentally pops Shana with his spiky hair. Que cheap fart sound as she flies around the area*  
  
Rap': ..... DUDE!! DART SAVED US!!!  
  
Albert: .... That was still REALLY anti-climatic....  
  
Authors: *dance*  
  
Albert: ......  
  
Lloyd: ..... *eats flaming bagel* .... ^_^  
  
Meru: ....... *dances*  
  
Albert: ...... *looks at the people reading the fic* - this is obviously bad for your health and your sanity. Go. *Gets a channel changer from somewhere and points it at the computer screen*  
  
Raps': .. @_@ HEY!! WAIT A SEC!!!! WE STILL HAVENT DEFEATED THE EVIL MINI-   
  
  
  
  
  
^blip^   
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Body switching? YEAH!

LOD: The Book of Rambles  
Ramble 7: 'BODY SWITCH!!!'

Bishounen Switching!  
  
Quickie and IMPORTANT fact:  
when I have Albert or Lloyd talking like this:  
  
Albert:   
Lloyd:   
  
Just be aware that (in the second portion of this fanfic) Albert may be talking- but he's really in Lloyd's body. The same for Lloyd. Lloyd will be talking- but he's really in Albert's body! Example:  
  
Albert: *rolls eyes* An example? *points at his silver hair* IM IN LLOYDS FRIGGIN BODY!! WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE DO YOU NEED!??!?!?  
  
Lloyd: Oh shut up!!! I have a ponytail now!! I look SO GAYYYYYY!!! *cries*  
  
Rap's: yeah. umm.... now when I have Lloyd and Albert talking like THIS.....  
  
Lloyd in Albert's Body:  
Albert in Lloyd's body:  
  
I'm simply being more specific. Whatever name comes first is the one talking. The second name is the body!

****  
  
Lloyd: RAP'S!!! Goddamnit!!! LET US GO YOU EVIL FREAK OF NATURE!  
  
Albert: *sighs deeply* Stop trying, Lloyd.  
  
Lloyd: RAP'S!!! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!  
  
Albert: Lloyd- SHUT UP okay!? It won't work!  
  
Lloyd: LIKE @(#&$(*@ HELL IT WON'T! EVIL WITCH!!! YOU LET US THE HELL GO RIGHT NOW OR I'LL- MMMFfffffmm!! *sputter* Mmmffmmm!!! MFMFMFMFMMMM!!!  
  
(Rap's, having already tied both Albert and Lloyd on two separate tables some few hours ago, stuffs a gym sock in Lloyd's mouth.)  
  
Lloyd: *looks ill*  
  
Albert: *rolls eyes* Told you.  
  
Rap's: SHHH!! The both of you!!! *dressed in a giant white labcoat* I must CONCENTRATE!! *sips some Mountain Dew and begins working the dials on a variety of odd looking machinery. Alone, with the exception of her two beautiful bishounen, the room is small and plain.*  
  
Lloyd: *fumes begin to overwhelm his tender nose* oommmffgg.... *blinks in and out of consciousness*  
  
Albert: *cough* Rap's- remove the sock from Lloyd's mouth, please.  
  
Rap's: *blinks* NO!  
  
Albert: You cant experiment on him if he's dead...  
  
(Rap's quickly walks up, removes the sock, and continues her work. The Wingly gets a somewhat drunken look on his face and starts to convulse.)  
  
Rap's: *shoots a glance at Lloyd.* Oh come on! I only washed it eight years ago!!!  
  
Albert: *nervously watches Lloyd twitch* um- Rap's...  
  
Rap's: I mean, sure, I work out alot so it got all sweaty, and then I caught a rat in it once. It got all scared and crapped a couple of times in the sock but otherwise...  
  
Albert: *turns his face away as a very sickening sound plops over the lab floor*  
  
silence  
  
Rap's: HEY!! *mad giggles* you eat pizza for breakfast too , Lloyd!?  
  
All: .......  
  
-- meanwhile, in another part of the fanfiction. --  
  
Rose: Mace?  
  
Emily: Check.  
  
Rose: Large wooden bat?  
  
Emily: Check.  
  
Rose: Tear gas, wire, rope, and plastic explosives?  
  
Emily: Check, check, check and CHECK! Are we ready, then!?  
  
(( Haschel, Meru, Kongol, Miranda, Dart, Shana, Lavitz and Doel all watch as the two girls gear up at the base of Raptor's evil castle. Once a couple of sandwiches have been added to the list, the two strap on telli-tubby backpacks and...))  
  
Doel: *Guffaw* TELLI TUBBY BACKPACKS!!!?? BAHAHAHAH!!   
  
Emily: *spins on heel* SHHH!!!! Do you want Rap's to hear us!?!?!?  
  
Dart: yeah... we know.. but.. telli tubby backpacks?  
  
Rose: No one EVER suspects the telli tubby backpacks!! So shut up!  
  
Lavitz: Umm... but dude.. they are SO evil!  
  
Rose: So is pokemon- but your dont see ME bitching now DO you!!!!  
  
Lavitz: *sniff* That was cold, man. *thumbs through his pokemon cards.* I hope you can rescue the guys... Lloyd has my mew 2 card!  
  
Miranda: *backhands Lavitz* SHUT UP!! GOD!!!  
  
Lavitz: *sulk* Why is everyone being so MEAn to me!!!! *cries*  
  
All: ....  
  
Doel: yeah.. well.. anyways... *walks up to Rose and Emily.* After you two have found the guys, drop the rope from one of the castle towers- and then we will climb up to join you. We'll need more then two people to take down Rap's!  
  
Meru: *raises a hand* Question. Why don't we just all go up at the same time? Why drop a rope? Ya know?  
  
All: ....  
  
Doel: THANK you MERU for RUINING THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE SCENARIO!!!  
  
Emily; ... um- yeah. Look- we'll just drop the rope as initially planned okay!? Come on Rose! *tugs her armored sleeve* Rap's won't mentally destroy YOUR boyfriend! *mutters curses* That little wench is trying to steal my alby!  
  
Haschel: Alby?  
  
Doel and Haschel: *SNORT* HAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Emily: *eye twitch* YOU SHALL SHUT THY MOUTHS OR BE EATEN!!!!  
  
Shana: She can do it!! she eats rabid chipmunks!!!  
  
All: *remembering, they back away from Emily*  
  
Emily: Hehehe. *blinks innocently* What? Enough stalling!! lets be off! *rips her dress to the thigh on either side, tosses her hair mel gibson style, slaps war paint on either cheek, and points a dagger at the castle. "FORWARD!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
All: .....  
  
Emily: WHAT!? *eats a nearby moose*  
  
Dart: Holy @(#&.  
  
---- meanwhile, back within Raptor's evil lab ----  
  
((Lights are buzzing on and off as Rap's attaches a helmet on both lloyd and Albert. She is singing and humming as she does so, going on about elves and whatnot.))  
  
LLoyd: *sighs* Now what?  
  
Albert: As long it doesn't involve puke? i'll be okay.  
  
Lloyd: Hey!! Shaddup! At least the moomba's cleaned it up!  
  
Albert: Well if you hadn't INSISTED on being a LOUDMOUTHED LITTLE-!!!!  
  
*Rap's takes two knifes, spins them in her hands, and then smacks both down on either table.*  
  
LLoyd: *sweatdrop* Um... wasn't that a little harsh? *blinks at the knife- which was planted neatly just below his crotch.*  
  
Rap's; Saw it in a movie once, and I just happened to have two knifes. it's always good for shutting men up!  
  
Albert: for OBVIOUS REASONS!!!!   
  
Rap's; Hey. *points at Albert* I got a third dagger right here. The first was close enough, but if ya wanna see if I can make it to your-  
  
Albert: NO!! no no NO!!! GODS!! *squirms away from the knife and trys to dislodge the helmet above his head* stupid little bitchy goddamned illogical arrogant... *mutter mutter mutter*  
  
Lloyd: *snicker* Don't be mean to yourself Albert! your not THAT bad!  
  
Albert: *EYE TWITCH* If I EVER get out of this ALIVE and-!!!  
  
RAp's: QUIET!!! THIS IS THE PART OF THE FANFIC WHERE I EXPLAIN MY EVIL PLAN!!!  
  
Lloyd and Albert: GO TO HELL!  
  
Rap's: *runs to home depo and comes back with a chainsaw*  
  
Lloyd and Albert: ...... *cower*  
  
Rap's: ^_^ Damn Straight. Now.... *puts a road sign on her head and raises her arms to the sky* It is time, my bishies... you shall finally realize the folly of your ways and join me in my insanity!  
  
Albert: Can I laugh?  
  
Rap's: *revs the chainsaw*  
  
Albert: shutting up....  
  
Rap's: *pulls a helmet similar to the ones Lloyd and Albert wear from a nearby closet. She then puts it on her head next to the road sign.* With this demonic radio mind zapper 4000, I can take control of your minds and make you my slaves! Anything i WANT to do with you.... *Maniac laughter* I CANN!!!!!!!  
  
Lloyd: *raises a nervous brow* uh- that would be?  
  
Rap's: *seductive glance* Weeell..... hehehe...  
  
Lloyd and Albert: *slowly look at one another, and just before they can start screaming...*  
  
Rap's: MWHAHAH!! WE CAN GO TO AMUSEMENT PARKS AND EAT ICE CREAM AND WATCH MOVIES AND PLAY BOARD GAMES AND PLAN WORLD DOMINATION AND HANG OUT ALL THE TIME!!!!!! *squeals with girlish delight*  
  
Lloyd: ooooooohhssmmm..... *collapses back into the table* Thank god.  
  
Rap's: *blinks* Well.. what did you expect?  
  
Albert and Lloyd: *blink*  
  
Rap's: EEWWW!!!!!!! you actually thought... I'd....  
  
Albert and Lloyd: *blink*  
  
Rap's: I WOULD NEVER WATCH BARNEY!!!  
  
silence  
  
Albert: Rap's?  
  
Rap's: Yes, my precious?  
  
Albert: .... you are such an idiot.  
  
Rap's: *big grin* i know!!!  
  
Albert and Lloyd: *groan in exassperation, and then watch as Rap's begins to turn on the machine...*  
  
((The lights once again begin to flicker))  
  
Lloyd: Five bucks says she fries us to charcol...  
  
Albert: We can't bet if I agree....  
  
--- back with Rose and Emily ---  
  
*mission impossible music is playing in the background, courtesy of the pocket stereo they borrowed from Doel. The girls are sneaking around giant black pillars and creeping down hallways in search of their men.*  
  
Rose: *flattens herself against the floor for no real reason- right in the middle of the hallway* Clear!   
  
Emily: *leaps and flips into the hallway, then diving behind another pillar.*  
  
Please note that there is no one else in the hall. Or in the castle, actually, save for Rap's and her two bishies- which are several floors above   
  
Rose and Emily: *load a shotgun each and carefully edge over into the next hall.*  
  
Emily: movement?  
  
Rose: that's a Negative. *blinks* Wait.. WHATS THAT!? *points*  
  
Emily: SMURF!  
  
Rose: QUICK! GRENADE!!  
  
Emily: *chucks a grenade*  
  
insert very loud blast sequence here.   
  
Rose: GO GO GO GO GO!!!  
  
**Emily and Rose drop army style and crawl quickly along the floor**  
  
--------  
  
*fizz*  
  
Rap's; MWHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
*pop*  
  
Rap's: GWAHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!  
  
*bbbzzzzmmmmm.......* -click-  
  
Rap's: YES!!! MWHAHAHAHH!!!! I HAVE DONE IT!! I AM A GENIOUS OF MAMMOTH PROPORTION!! A GOD OF ALL GODDESSES!!! ALL MUST BOW AND WORSHIP ME!!!!! *points at Lloyd and Albert in triumph, both of whom are twitching on the lab tables*  
  
Lloyd: oooo... ooo.... OH my head....  
  
Albert: I hate that friggin Raptor queen, Albert. I hate her. I'll KILL her!  
  
Lloyd: Shut up, Lloyd. At least it's over. What she did can't have been THAT bad.  
  
Rap's: *nervously watching this exchange, Rap's taps her claws against her thighs. They were supposed to get up after the experiment and declare their love for roller coasters. Instead, Albert was addressing... himself. and so was lloyd. The hell??? un... less...*  
  
Lloyd and Albrt: *watch as Rap's begins to run away*  
  
Albert: HEY!! UNTIE US AT THE LEAST!!! Jebus!!  
  
Lloyd: This is SO inhumane!!  
  
Rap's; *coughs curtly* um- guys...? i... uh... BYE!!!!! *continues to flee*  
  
Lloyd and Albert: *stare after her*  
  
Albert: What the hell?  
  
Lloyd: I don't know... but...  
  
*For the first time since Rap's began the experiment, Albert and Lloyd look at one another.*  
  
Silence  
  
Lloyd in Albert's body: Dude... she turned YOU into ME....  
  
Albert in Lloyd's body: um.... no. She turned you into ME!  
  
*both look at a mirror above*  
  
Dearest reader, you guessed it. Raptor's fooling has switched the bodies of her favorite bishounen. Albert's mind is in Lloyd body- and lloyd's is in Albert's!  
  
Albert and Lloyd: ......   
  
Albert: OMG. I'm Lloyd. I'm stuck in a wingly body. I have Silver hair. I am... I am GOING TO EVISCERATE THAT UNHOLY BITCH ASS RAPTOR!!!!  
  
LLoyd: OH SHUT UP!! At least YOU got MY sexy self!! look at me!! I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GIRL!!! *weeps* IM A WUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!  
  
Albert: I resent that!!!! Now stop making my body cry!! i look ridiculous!  
  
LLoyd: *cries anyways* NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Anything but this!! ANYTHING!! ANY ANY AANNNYYYTHHIINNGGG!!!!!  
  
Albert: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! .... *blinks as he realizes something* Your voice is so annoying!!!  
  
LLoyd: Hey- its YOUR voice...  
  
Albert: NO YOU INGRADE! I mean YOUR voice... the one that im STUCK with because we have SWITCHED bodies!!!  
  
Lloyd: Stop complaining you pop tart! YOUR voice makes me sound like a dandy! Look at this!? look!! im talking!! im talking and I sound gay!! Holy mother of god!! im gay!! YOUR gay- arent you!? LISTEN to this!!!! *talking just to complain about hearing himself talk* OMGGGG!!!! IM AN ENGLISH DANDY!!!!  
  
Albert: .... Look, I'll let the gay thing slide for now. *eye twitch* HOWEVER we MUST find a way to reverse this! And for the love of god- SHUT UP!!! Your embarrasing me!!!  
  
Lloyd: MY ASS I AM!!! *silence* holy ****. My voice squeaked when I said ass! YOUR VOICE BOX SUCKS!  
  
Albert: *coughs* Lloyd? Look at me a moment.  
  
Lloyd: WHAT!?  
  
Albert: *insane grin* I AM A FUZZY WUZZY ELF AND I HAVE COME TO DESTROY ALL CHIBI'S!!!! MWHAHAHAHHAHAHH!!!!!  
  
LLoyd: .... DONT ... make me... LOOK.... like a FOOL...  
  
Albert in lloyd's body: BWHAAHAHHA!!!!! I AM A FUZZY ELF!! AN ELF OF FUZZINESS I AM!!!  
  
Lloyd: ALBERT @#($&@(#*&$ STOP IT!!!  
  
Albert: *coughs* Fine. but my POINT is that if YOU act like an ass- your in MY body and therefore *I* look like an ass! Keep yourself royal and I won't make you do the macerena!!!!!  
  
Lloyd: ..... *shudders* okay!! okay!! *settles back against the table.* So now what!? We are TIED down and... well- we're tied down! I dont wanna go into the body switching part! (I can't BELEIVE im in Albert's body... oh shit. What happens if Im stuck like this? What happens when i feel like taking a shower!?)  
  
Albert: *shudder* I READ THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE and it disturbs ME as much as YOU!!! Just.. lets.... think!!  
  
*very suddenly, they both hear a loud GO GO GO GO GO from outside the door, and in a flash of Motion Rose has kicked in the entrance*  
  
Emily: *runs in behind her* WOOOO!!!! WE ROCK!!!! *shooting assorted smurfs* MWhAHAH!!! *blink* now... uh...  
  
Rose and Emily: *look at Lloyd and Albert*  
  
Rose: LLOYD!!!  
  
Emily: ALBERT!!!  
  
Rose and Emily: YOUR SAFE!!! Our Boyz are saaffffffeee!!!! *jump attack their respectable partners*  
  
Albert: GAHHHH!!! ROSE!!! NO NO NO!!! IM NOT-!!! *smothered with kisses*  
  
Lloyd: NO!!!! EMILY- YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!! WE- *also smothered with kisses*  
  
Girls: MWHAHAHHA!!!!!  
  
Boys: _ 0_o _ AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
  
-----------  
  
Lavitz: ....   
  
All: .....  
  
Meru: BORING!  
  
Doel: Weren't they supposed to throw us a rope? *yawns*  
  
((the characters not in Raptors castle are still waiting outside, lounging about the area and looking generally miffed.))  
  
Haschel: So.... *looks for a topic of converse* Miranda?  
  
Miranda: )@#(*$( eh?  
  
Haschel: Are you related to cid highwind, by any chance?  
  
miranda: @(#*&$(*@& no. but for some reason @#*&$@(# people are always @)(@#&*$@)( pairing me and @#*&$)(@ him. i really dont know why the (@*#&$(@ that always happens! It's @)(#*$@#()* anoying!  
  
All: .....  
  
Kongol: Me kongol hungry!  
  
Shana: Me to. Lets have a BBQ!  
  
Dart: With what?  
  
Lavitz: I know!! Let's cook Doel!  
  
Doel: try it and die, knight boy. *Coughs* .... god... this really IS boring isn't it?  
  
Meru: BORING!!!  
  
Doel: BORING!!!  
  
Meru: MEGA boring!  
  
Doel: TRIPLE mega BORING!!!  
  
Meru: *grins*  
  
Doel: *laughs*  
  
All: ......  
  
((The group once again lapses into silence. Dart and Shana start chatting on about nonsense. Haschel and Kongol attempt to make sense of what Miranda begins talking about, Meru pretends she's a plane and flies around, and Doel decides that staring at the ground is a good pass time.))  
  
Lavitz: ... *sigh* Okay... lemme see here... *takes out his walkman and puts the pokemon CD in it.* There we go! dun dun dun dun POK-E-MON!!! gotta catch em aallllllllll!!! POKEMON!!!! oh yeah!! POKEMON!!!  
  
all: SHUT UP LAVITZ!!!!  
  
Lavitz: heeeyyyy!!!!! Come ON!!! it's a good SONG!!! Wanna hear me do the pokerap!?  
  
All: ..... *start to run away*  
  
Lavitz: GGUUUYYYYSSSS!!!  
  
((Just then, the giant castle doors open, and Rose, Emily, Albert and Lloyd come walking through. or... er... more like rose and emily DRAGGED Albert and Lloyd through. The men did NOT look happy... and unfortunetly, as their girls did not give them a chance to speak, no one knows that.....))  
  
Lavitz: DUDE!!!! ALRIGHT!!! *waves at LLoyd* NOW YOU CAN GIVE ME MY MEW2 CARD!!!  
  
Lloyd in Albert's body: DUDE!!! I SO won that CARD!  
  
All: .....  
  
Emily: .... Albert?  
  
Albert in LLoyd's body: *pissed off* LLOYD!! GODDAMNIT!!  
  
LLoyd in Albert's body: WHAT!? GGeeezz!!!   
  
All: ...... *confused*  
  
DOEL: WHOA!!! .... okay!? What the hell is going on here!? Rose!? Emily?  
  
Girls: *shrug*  
  
Rose: We found em up in Raptor's laboratory, but they don't look hurt or anything! Then again.. we really didn't give them a chance to talk... heheheh...  
  
Lavitz: yeah... anyway... LLOYD!? MY MEW 2 CARD!? Come'on man!!  
  
Lloyd in Albert's body: DUDE! SERIOUSLY!  
  
Lavitz: ALBERT!? DUDE!?  
  
Lloyd in Albert's body: DUDE!!!  
  
Lavitz: ..... DUDE!?  
  
All: WHAT THE HELL!??!?!?  
  
Albert in LLoyd's body: AHHHH!!!! *smacks his original body* GODDAMNIT!!! I DO NOT LIKE POKEMON!!!!  
  
LLoyd in Albert's body: Touch me again, Albert, and your DEAD.  
  
Albert in Lloyds body: ... oh ... you-!!!! DIE!!!!!!!  
  
*Albert and Lloyd jump each otehr. Unfortunately- no one understand that they've switched bodies. Doel begins to laugh like an idiot, and everyone else just watches on horrified. Rose and Emily seem the most shocked*  
  
Lloyd: GAH!!! *is flattened to the ground as Albert pounces on him* NO FAIR!!! MY BODY IS STRONGER THEN YOURS!!!  
  
Albert: And so I shall use that to my advantage. DIE!  
  
Lloyd: OOOWW!!!! OW OW OW!!!!! *growls- and then Albert grabs his ponytail... god having a ponytail sucked....*  
  
Albert: *snap and pull*  
  
Lloyd: OOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Albert: *blink* yeah- I know. That really hurts! Rap's does it to me all the time!  
  
LLoyd: YOU EVIL LITTLE- RAGHH!!!! *brings his legs up and kicks his poor beautiful body away * I SHALL DESTROY YOU!!! And believe me, hurting my own face will be hard- but I can do it!!!  
  
Albert: Hmph! TRY IT! *raises fists*  
  
LLoyd: *blinks* Oh for the love of.... *points at himself* Albert- your fighting stance makes me look like a dumbass!  
  
Albert: Well EXCUSE me if im used to fighting in a THIN BODY!  
  
Lloyd: ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT!?!!??!?   
  
Albert: YES!  
  
Lloyd: BRING IT ON BITCH BOY!!!!!!!  
  
MIranda: @(#*&$(*@#&$(*&@(#&$(@*#& TTTTTTTIIIIIMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE OOOOOUUUUUTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!  
  
silence sweeps the landscape  
  
Rose: *smacks Lloyd once in the arm- who is really Albert* What the HELL is going on!!! your talking like.....  
  
Albert: *nods* THATS RIGHT!!! I AM ALBERT- but i am IN LLOYDS' BODY!! *points at his silver hair and black attire*  
  
LLoyd: ..... my ponytail hurts.... *rubbing the back of his head*  
  
Doel: you all DO know that only ONE person can be responsible for this...  
  
Rose: *eyes glow red* RAPS SHALL PAY.... aaghhhh!! I really kissed albert up there!! not Lloyd!!  
  
Emily: yeah!! And I really kissed lloyd!! not my Alby!!  
  
Both girls: *ponder this for a moment, and then get weird grins on their faces*  
  
lloyd and Albert: .....  
  
Miranda: oh @#($(*&@# whatever. Lets find Rap's and kick her ass!!  
  
All: YEAHH!!!!  
  
( ... And this is where i shall end this ramble. Why? Because I don't want to die. @_@ ^_^ *rides off on a mini tricycle*)  
  
...... (*and gets attacked by flaming ferrets*)


End file.
